Can't live without you scowl
by Propheaker
Summary: Can you guess what will be the outcome if a person that mastered the art of scowling and a unconventional girl that have weird obession over bunnies are living on the same apartment? not only that, their also classmates in School. [IchigoXRukia]
1. Nice to meet you

**Disclaimer **— Well, once again Santa didn't gave me the privilege of acquiring the deed to own Bleach and some other anime titles last Christmas… Sob But I won't give up! I'll infiltrate the main house of Tite Kubo and change the title deed of Bleach to demonitachi! MUWAHAHAHA!! …The problem now is how to get there, I'm dead-beat broke…maybe I'll hitchhike on an airport… Goes to my crappy room to write a board that states 'plz give me a lift to Japan' Oh yeah, I totally forgot the disclaimer whatsoever thingy, Smiles sheepishly sorry it's a habit of mine…Ehem,

-Drumrolls-

Do I really have to write this?………urgh, a futile attempt huh. I, Demonitachi hold no copyright over Bleach nor any of the characters within the show. Not even a single insignificant low ranked officers (not to mention weird hairdo's) from the 11th squad.

But the rubbish plot is solely my personal conjectures, if the same thing is written before, I swear to God that I never stole nor copy such work.

So without further adieu, here's the result of countless nights having an Insomnia and too much caffeine.

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**Chapter 1: The calm before the Storm**

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At last the day he's been waiting for, the day when he, Kurosaki Ichigo, 18 yrs old will finally step into a new phase in his life, a leap towards a new level upon the education system, to put it in a simpler way, after a long agonizing years in grade school, middle school and high school, finally he entered the last period of schooling, a realm wherein young adults gather in mass…

Collage.

Ah yes, dear sweet collage… a stratum where the future leaders (and gangers) are groom and educated. The stage in your life wherein you are given even more freedom and independence. A chance where you can make your own decisions concerning your life. And finally, the stage wherein you cannot possibly cut-classes, sleep in class, copy other's work, share different porn— err… the list goes on but somehow I think you get the idea already.

To Kurosaki Ichigo, it was a perfect get away. Being eighteen means the right to have a proper employment (not to mention the legal age for drinking alcohol beverages) and having a job opens endless possibilities if your know what I mean, take it for example having your own condo unit or apartment… its a perfect chance to escape your family especially if your father's a goat-beard guy who likes to break your bones so early in the morning and had a ultra super mega childish complex behavior.

He doesn't want to leave his two sisters, Heck, if there's any way that those two can live with him in his new apartment then he'll do it right away. The orange haired guy didn't want to be separated to his younger sisters but one way or another they'll have to part away eventually and that time is now if I may add. So that leaves him with no choice but to leave Yuzu and Karin into the hands of their 'beloved' father.

- Flashback –

"Onii-chan, do you really have to go?" pleaded by his younger sister Yuzu. Somehow even at her teenage life she still have her kind and caring attitude. "You can still stay here you know…"

Meanwhile across the other side of the room, Ichigo's female version widely known as Kurosaki Karin was gazing her 'Ichi-nii' with her 'I-don't-give-a-damn-look'.

"Gomen, but the university is feaki'n darn far if I stay here Yuzu." Ichigo truthfully explained, putting an arm on her shoulders. "But I'd be back whenever I had a free time okay Yuzu?"

"Who knows maybe Ichi-nii would finally find a suitable girlfriend on collage." Karin teased that make Ichigo flinched a couple of step backwards, an inerasable grin was formed on her face.

"What do you think Yuzu, what kind of girl would you want Ichi-nii to get?"

"Ehh!? I don't know, I'm still not prepared to see Onii-chan getting married… maybe someone who's older than him. She must be shorter than Onii-chan and can cook food!" Yuzu explained gesturing the imaginary figure and height of her ideal girlfriend of Ichigo. "Must be responsible, smart and had a blond hair!"

"Hey…" Ichigo stated but to no avail was completely ignored.

"Blond hair, why's that?" Karin inquired, placing a hand on her hips.

"Because I want a baby sister or brother who have a blond hair!" Yuzu clarified excitedly. "Kinda looks like moms hair."

And the main quack has enter the scene…

"O my dear sweet son is now a man, I just can't wait to see him thru the aisle with his bride-to-be beside him!" Kurosaki Isshin interjected, crying exasperatedly like an old geezer watching sappy melodramas. "Okaa-san! Our little Ichigo is now a fully-grown man ready to spread little replicas of him and his wife soon! Oh how time flies so easily." Ichigo's father exceedingly stated with matching dramatic effects, dashing towards the huge picture frame of his departed wife to embrace it.

Ichigo is angry— no the term ballistic is much more suited to explain the feelings that the orange haired guy was feeling right now, several veins right along his head and fist burst out of annoyance. "SCREW YOU! I'M ONLY JUST MOVING OUT OF THE DAMN HOUSE OLD MAN!!" Ichigo intensively knock the hell out of his father. Blood gushes out of Isshin's nose as he received the deathblow from his eldest son. "For cryi'n out loud, It's not like I'm getting married or something, Jeez…"

"Ichigo!" Isshin replied, mysteriously very serious that makes Ichigo think that 'is he my father?'

Silence…

"Whenever you have the pleasures of the flesh, be sure to buy a condom before y—"

"QUIT YAPPING DUMBASS!!" He instantly bring forth a powerful straight punch before Isshin invoked disgusting things on thing good blue earth. "GEEZ, DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!"

"Oh the tranquility…" Karin, without a care of the world nonchalantly commented.

"Onii-chan, where's your apartment anyway?" Yuzu interposed, completely ignoring her blood soaked father lying at the ground.

"Huh? Oh, I think it's only few blocks away from Karakura University…" Ichigo replied, lazily gathering up the boxes he'd bring along with him. "I still didn't see it personally though, but the owner said that I'd notice it right away…"

"Really?"

"Yeah, I think its called Urahara Apartment Complex or something…" The orange haired guy responded with an idle tone of voice.

"Weird name…"

"Got that right."

"Onii-chan, I'm not there to cook for you so be sure to eat properly okay? also, clean your apartment daily so dust won't build up easily, wash the dishes after you finished eating, do your laundry once every week. Oh, separate the white from colored ones and the jeans from your brie—" Yuzu elaborated, making Ichigo became irritated after awhile.

"I got it Yuzu so don't worry okay?"

"Okay, if you say so…" Yuzu replied with a sigh. "Oh, one more thing…"

"What is it?" Ichigo reacted, twisting his head to meet the gaze of his younger sister standing along the main door of their house.

"Be sure to visit us if you have a free time okay Onii-chan?"

Ichigo neutralized his scowl look to show one of his rare true smiles after saying, "The Hell I would!"

- End of Flashback -

"So Kurosaki-san, are you already familiar with the surroundings now?" The landlord of the apartment asked. He has an ashen colored hair with matching hat that he wears to cover most of his eyes.

"Hmm, not really." The orange haired collage student responded with ease. Ichigo was about to go to his first day in collage but was abruptly interrupted by Urahara, the landlord of the 'household'.

Its been a week since he transferred location. At first Ichigo highly doubt that he'll find the apartment due to the crappy map that was illustrated within the newspaper. However, all the qualm and doubts was easily erased when he spotted and odd— no, a weird beyond all reason structure at the center of the city. All of the buildings and skyscrapers beyond thirty-mile radius were certainly made of metal and steel, but for some odd reason, this 'Urahara Apartment Complex' was somewhat forgotten by the time and industrialization. It was a two-story high building complex that looks like a house that survived the grueling feudal era of Japan.

No wonder they said that it was so easily to be spotted. With a prehistoric apartment positioned at the center of two humongous twenty-foot high structures, who wouldn't notice it…

"So Kurosaki-san, leaving for school already?" Urahara inquired with his usual tone of voice. He was playing with his cat named Yoruichi on his lap, sitting at the entrance of the apartment.

"Hmm, Yeah…" Ichigo replied, putting up his pair of black shoes along the entrance hall. "So if you won't mind, I'm off now…"

"Okay, Oh wait Ichigo— there's a new tenant staying next to your roo—." Urahara hastily stated but to no avail the orange haired guy had already leave the premises. "Oh well, guess I'll say it when he comes back…"

"Upsy Daisy!" He lifted the onyx haired fur ball in his lap. "Things are starting to get interesting isn't it?"

---------

Ichigo was late— no he was down right behind schedule. He only had only at least ten minutes to arrive at school. He was on his way thru the train station when—

BANG!

Something or rather someone bumps into him along the streets. They both landed on the floor butt first, holding their head. It took awhile for the other to react.

"Look at where you're going kid!" said by a petite girl with dark hair. She had round and big cerulean eyes that are probably in her mid adolescent age.

"Hey, you're the one who bumps onto me stupid brat!" retorted by an irritated Ichigo.

He was only minutes from being late and this happen? Oh great, is the date now Friday the thirteenth?

"Stupid Brat!? Looks who's talking." The girl furiously replied, twitching her eyes and fist tightened instantly. "Be glad that I'm late or I'll send you straight to Kingdom come!"

"Oh really? Try me stupid brat!" Ichigo sardonically taunted, grinning mockingly whilst impending closer his face to her but not close enough for something awkward to occur.

_Patience…_The dark haired girl muttered thru her mind like a mantra. She remained silent to clam herself but Ichigo misinterpret it as cowardness.

_Figures…your ordinary typical girl. _He triumphantly concluded. _Acting all high and mighty aren't we? I can see thru your act kid._ After that thought, Ichigo decided to ridicule the 'little girl' a much more, she was the reason that he's late after all.

"My my, aren't we a little late for our 'tea party' today?" The cocky Ichigo contemptuously taunted with a hint of playfulness in his tone. "I guess you'd be on your way thru the train station right now so don't forget to ask for your 'child discount' okay stupid brat."

Patience… 

"Ohhh, you're carrying some big purse for your age stupid brat, did you bring your Barbie collection too?"

PATIENCE… 

"Oh I forgot… you're too YOUNG to play doll after all, sor-ree!" _NOT! _Ichigo continued his verbal assault, completely forgotten that he had a class to attend to. He saw her face went down, clenching her tiny little fist. _Ohh, the crying routine now? Pl-ease!_

And he finally crossed the line…

"Soo, the little kid is going to cry now huh? Let me guess you're planning to hide on your mother's skirt?" Ichigo then practically signed his death deed. "Ohh how scary! Want to punch me, Huh Huh? Come'on I DARE you! Oh I forgot, a girl like only knows how to do girly things and flirt with your prince charming!"

PATIE— ARGH, TO HELL WITH PATIENCE! CHILDISH MIGHT IT SEEM, I WON'T LET THIS 'STUPID BRAT' GET AWAY WITH THIS!! She was mad— no Blind Rage was more fitting to the mood the girl was feeling right now. She glared at her target of frustration, a laughing, orange haired boy. Completely oblivious that she mentally marked him. Blood will be shed tonight… the dark haired girl sinisterly thought.

TICK TUCK BOOM!!

It took only a matter second for her to react and knock the sense out of Ichigo. He was sent flying towards a nearby tree by some unknown move that seems like a combination of Karate, Mushu and Aikiedo. Several bystanders watched the hullabaloo.

"Be thankful that there's a law in this country that forbids to kill someone stupid brat!" The girl commented with authority. After she eyed him at the ground for several moments and hastily exited the commotion.

"Bitch!" Ichigo madly stated.

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Oh great, it was Ichigo's first day in collage and he was exactly thirty-five minutes late. At first he'd given up the notion to attend school but his inner 'conscience' persuaded him to attend later on. His day is completely ruined courtesy of a certain raven-haired girl he'd met along the way. He was beaten hands down by some puny little girl for Pete's sake! He was feared throughout his high school life and was undeniably created a reputation of being a 'tough guy' back at their town… Then out if nowhere this little girl immediately bea— Argh! It was too much to handle, it was a struck to his pride, the notorious Ichigo beaten by such a wuzz girl that still didn't reach her own growth spurt (not to mention cute but we all know that he'll never admit that…for now.) it was like saying Mount Fuji erupted during winter with a snowstorm happening in its peak.

Well, back to Ichigo's dilemma, He was in front of his homeroom door and gathered up all his courage to open the door.

And the sheep has entered the lion's den…

"My my, what have we got here? Another 'early' student attending my class on his first day?" Ichigo's teacher commented sarcastically, putting a little emphasis on the word 'early' on her statement. She was your typical teacher on her mid forties. She wears an exaggerated glass with thick lens that you'll probably misinterpret as a binocular at afar. Her aged hair was neatly combed giving her the impression of being a 'terror teacher'

However, Ichigo wasn't paying attention on the speech of the 'old hag'. Cause he was so caught up with the individuals sitting at the room. His jaw dropped extrovertly upon seeing his 'old-buddies' from high school.

Chado was sitting at the far right corner of the room looking back at the bewildered Ichigo, Inoue was waving her hands while Tatsuki just give him her usual idle gaze. Ishida on the other hand just pushed his glasses upwards acting like he didn't notice the guy.

Mizuiro just sit there looking all 'nice guy' while flirting with an older female sitting beside him and last but I don't know if the least, Keigo…He was waving his hand…both of it…high above the sky…with a goofy grin pasted on his face.

Dear god, why are these lunatics here…Ichigo worryingly thought, he shifted his gaze from the stoic Chado to the impenetrable Ishida then to Inoue who had a large err— assets followed by Tatsuki whose glaring back at him then to Mizuiro who for certain didn't notice him.

He was too embarrassed to look at Keigo fearing that the other students might notice that he actually know the guy. The 'old hag' was still stating her 'lovable sermon' about… Stuff toys? How the hell does Stuff toys fit the situation anyway? Oh well, only the bickering witch in front would only know the answer.

So he'd let his eye wander around the room to divert his attention away from his 'loving teacher'. The orange haired guy first noticed the squeaking girls sitting at the front row… who wouldn't notice them if they're winking back at you so he transferred his gaze immediately to a new group of 'machos' sending him death glares for some reason. What is their problem anyway? Probably about my hair color and stuff…typical hoodlums Ichigo idly thought to his mind.

Then something or much rather someone caught his attention. A petite girl who have a black hair and cerulean eyes. The same person who he encounter moments ago along the streets.

His jaw dropped ten-folds to the ground. They both thought of the same thing at the moment, same expression engraved at their faces, completely ignoring the attention they're making.

What the fucking Hell!?

---------

Ichigo checked his wristwatch for the 39th time, 3:37 pm it says. They have been to detention for almost one and a half hours already and neither was compelling to talk to the other as if they're competing on who can last longer without talking.

She was tapping her shoes frantically showing that she's bored to death by now.

Tap.

Tap..

Tap …

Several veins pop's out if Ichigo's fist.

Tap.

Tap..

Tap…

His eyes twitch madly by the moment.

TAP.

TAP..

"STOP TAPPING YOU FREAKI'N FEET DUMBASS!" The orange haired guy shouted angrily to the max. "It's annoying!"

"Ohhh, look who finally decided to say something…" Rukia started, crossing her legs altogether. "Finally confessing your undying love to me?"

Bitch…

"Shut-it Baka! It your damn fault anyway why we are here in detention on the first day of class."

"My fault? Well, if a certain someone didn't shout back at the room then we wouldn't be in detention in the first day of class." Rukia retorted with a sarcastic tone of voice.

"Now you're saying that it's MY FAULT?" His tone increased by the second. "You also shouted Dumbass!."

- Flashback -

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE BITCH/BASTARD!" Both said in synchronization, pointing finger towards the other.

"You're following me aren't you?" Rukia implied, sending death glares towards Ichigo. "Are you some kind a stalker or something?"

"STALKER!? Who would want to stalk you dumbass!" the orange haired guy retorted, giving a glare that can equal the looks of the girl. "I'd rather stalk a tree than follow you!"

All of the eyes in the room were now staring at the two exchanging sarcastic comments. It was clearly evident that they've only met this time but in they way that they act, it seems that they knew each other along time ago. The endless bickering last for about good ten minutes after their teacher finally ordered them to go to detention. And they've said collage has no detention…it was probably because the university was built along Karakura city where all lunatics gather.

- End of Flashback -

"WILL THE TWO OF YOU SHUT UP OR I'LL ADD ANOTHER HOUR TO YOUR DETENTION!" The guard of the room commanded, finally fed up with the 'romantic argument' of the two teenagers.

----------

A ceasefire seems to be starting off between those two. They've been sitting nearly a meter away from one another was behaving like a rationale individual.

Suddenly…

"What do you think?" Rukia tried to start a normal conversation by showing him her finished 'chappy' doodles. "Aren't they good or what?"

I guess miracles really do happen once awhile.

Ichigo was silent— no, he was stunned to see her works. Never in his life that he see drawings that is so…

"Crappy." The orange haired guy commented bluntly, narrowing his eyes as he look at the 'piece of art' at her hand. "Beyond all reason…"

BAM!

A notebook instantly smacked his head after the last comment. A miracle happened but he just wasted it all.

"What's your problem? I'm being nice with you and what did you just do?" She said, narrowing her eyes. "You ruined my effort, some nice guy you are…"

"Well sor-ree for ruining your hard work there, Baka!"

"What's with you, You apologize then call me an idiot?" Rukia retorted. Fist clenched tighter than usual. "What kind of a stupid way is that to say sorry to someone?"

"Whatever…"

"Hmph."

"Hmph."

They both looked at the opposite side of the other, crossing their arms altogether.

--------

Alas, the day is finally over and all of the students were now leaving. Of course it wasn't an exception for a certain eccentric two 'love birds'. They were leaving the university…together for some reason.

"Why are you following me bastard?" Rukia questioned the guy who's ambling few meters away from her. "Can't handle being away from your 'first love'?"

"Hahaha, really funny…"

"Then why are you following me?" She once again asked. Now stopping her pace then afterwards turned her body to face him.

"Goddammit! I'm not following you moron! Its just coincidence." Ichigo explained, hands on his pocket. "It just happen that the way thru the train station is also this way that's all Dumbass…"

"Okay okay, if you say so…"

---------

When they've reached their destination, both of them exchange a heartwarming embrace and mouth-watering ki— oh who the hell am I kidding…

When Ichigo and Rukia arrived at the train station, they glared at each other, did their usual bickering and compete on who's gonna get the ticket first. Their contest was so intense that they even sprint madly towards the ticket station bumping on some bystanders along the process. It was soon declared a draw when the two of them got the equal time record on getting the ticket from the booth, 18.53 seconds.

---------

Since Ichigo was visiting his family, he didn't enter the train that'll go thru the urban areas of Karakura City (the train that Rukia entered). In spite of one of the most lunatic-populated cities throughout Japan, Karakura can still be considered as one of the most colossal cities ever known to man.

"Goodbye 'honey' see you at school tomorrow…" Rukia sarcastically teased, putting a little emphasis of increasing her pitch and adding a forged sweet voice effect. She's waving her hand exaggeratedly thru the windows of the train. Her own way of saying goodbye and also tormenting the guy.

Bitch…

His scowl amplified even more.

------

Ichigo had just finished the trip back to his original home. He arrived at the apartment around seven o'clock in the evening.

"Hey old sandal hat man, are you there!?" The orange haired guy hollered within the doorsteps of the apartment. He noticed that Urahara's wooden slippers were lying at the floor along with an undersized shoe that he didn't know whom it belonged to. The landlord, Kisuke Urahara owned the place but only quite few times that he actually stayed at the apartment due to his other sidelines.

"Hey! Answer if you're here old man!"

No response.

"Fine! I'm going to my room then." Grunted by Ichigo, crudely marching towards his room. He quickly changed his dress and tossed aside his bag. The orange haired guy lied on his bed but was abruptly interrupted by a weird sound coming from the next room. It sounded like someone was occupying the next room, probably Urahara… Ichigo thought and since the there was a slide door that is acting like a passageway from his room to the next room, he entered it to ask why Urahara Kisuke didn't answer back when he hollered.

However…

The scene that he caught a glimpse wasn't exactly what Ichigo had guessed. Hell, not even in his logical mind that he would imagine her staying at the opposite room, changing dress. His unrefined entrance makes the girl flinch and grab the nearest clothing to cover her almost naked body.

There was a silent before the storm…

An earsplitting silence can be discerned around the area. It was so firm that it can almost suffocate an ordinary person if they stayed any longer.

But of course each individual in the room cannot be considered as 'ordinary' now wouldn't they?

And finally, the storm has hits the surface.

All Hell break loose…

To be continued…

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A/N: So, what do you think, like it? hate it? Just write it in the review. Inspirations and encouragement are gracefully appreciated. (I need it plz!)It's my first attempt to on such anime so I apologize if the characters are somewhat OOC but you can't deny the fact that this fanfiction is an AU isn't it? But I'll try my best to get the characters right. Also, sorry for my grammar and spelling errors. I'm not a native English speaker (and rarely uses the language) so I humbly admit that I'm a lousy orator and my friends even told me that my English is an 'English-Carabao' (any aspiring Filipino citizen would know such terminology) so therefore I'm willing to improve so please bear with me.

Oh btw, how do you say hitchhike in Japanese? Would anyone tell me?


	2. What the fucking hell is that?

A/N: Haha! I'm here again and you'll all once again read my crappy and weird conjunctures. Anyway, I hope you will also like this chapter.

Also, many thanks for all of the people who corrected my errors. It brings so much help to me. I didn't internally reviewed (coz of my hectic schedule) nor Beta this chapter so sorry for my grammatical errors.

Oh— the disclaimer thingy…

Ehem, I demonitachi didn't own Bleach, blah blah blah… so don't sue… I'm a poor guy with a small amount of salary, so if you're planning to sue me please do it on Christmas….

Well, here the result of my bloodcurdling nightmare in which, Tellytubbies are…dancing…naked…with the annoying 'thisoldman' music playing in the background…

I don't wanna sleep… Shivers

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**Chapter 2:** **What the fucking hell is that? **

"I knew it! You're a stalker after all!" Rukia fumingly accused, glaring razor-sharp daggers at him. "Oh wait— you're not just a stalker but also a peeping tom, get out of my room you smoocher!"

"Wh-What!? Me, stalking you!? Hah, I wish!" Ichigo retorted. After accidentally seeing the dark-haired girl changing her clothes, He was instantly pushed out off the room by a powerful uppercut courtesy of an enraged girl. They were talking with each other in their own respective quarters, with only a thin paper wall acting as a barrier between the two rooms. "Besides, there nothing much to look at, in that flat chested child's body of yours…"

BAM!

A plastic vase came flying from her window, and unbelievably slammed in Ichigo's head, making it blood-tainted within minutes. "Ahh, Dammit! What did you just do?"

"Payback…"

After bandaging himself, Ichigo simply started a conversation by saying, "What are you doing here anyway?"

"Well, how about you, why are you here!?" She returned his question, obviously messing with his mind.

"Goddammit, I asked first!"

"Then I will not answer if you won't tell me your reason."

Annoying Bitch…Ichigo contemptuously muttered. "Goddammit, fine! If I said why reason, then you'll answer my question, deal?"

"Depends on the question." She agreeably replied with a snort. "First, Why are you living here?"

"In case you didn't notice, I'm a tenant here." Ichigo replied as if it was the most obvious thing on earth. "My turn, why are you staying next to my room?"

"…Urahara said it was my room."

"So, why did that 'old sandal hat' give you that room?"

"Am I obligated to answer everything you asked?" She asked, opening the slide door that act as the passageway between the two rooms.

"Dammit! We have a deal."

"I said that it depends on the questions that you asked!" She calmly replied, shrugging her arms nonchalantly.

I'LL KILL YOU!! He thought to herself. "Argh, forget it! Just don't even think of entering in my room bitch!"

"That's my line bastard!"

They glared at each other for a moment not blinking even once, and after a minute returned to their own respective rooms.

That bastard/bitch! Both of them muttered in synchronization. I HATE HIM/HER!!

---------

Ichigo strolled around the whole apartment complex. He just realized that the two of them are the only tenants that are currently present within the area. He hollered the names of other occupants but to no avail attained noting in response.

The orange haired guy was absentmindedly wandering around the premises, thinking about a certain sapphire-eyed bitch at the moment. What a dumb luck I got… and here I thought collage would change my life… Ichigo frustratingly sighed at that thought. He stopped in mid-pace remembering the events that happened after they were released from detention.

-Super Ultra Mega Flashback –

There was only an hour left before dismissal an since today is the first day of class, their teacher (not the 'old hag') has given them the privilege of doing what they want on the present time except for leaving the class of course.

Above all of the activity on the room, a small eccentric group of lunatics gathered in flock right at the corner. Inoue and Tatsuki sat alongside with each other while Mizuiro, Chado and Ichigo sat in front of the girls. If you're asking about Ishida, the guy didn't leave his sit and were currently sewing a cape. However, it was noticeable that he's still few inches away from them and alas, Keigo…

Well, he'd just acting like his usual supreme-emperor-lunatic attitude that can evenly match Kurosaki Isshin's mind-set. He was running in circles around the group talking nonstop about things that the writer of this fanfiction didn't even bothered writing.

"Wow, it seems like were back in High school!" The lively Inoue started. "Everyone's here!"

"Yeah, some freaki'n weird coincidence… So, what's the deal? Why is everyone here in Fine arts course as well?" Ichigo bluntly asked, getting to the point immediately before endless flimflams bombarded the conversation. He eyed Mizuiro, gesturing to answer first.

"Well based on my observation, most of the adult women like a person who have high values on arts and sculptures" The infamous womanizer of the group explained acting all 'innocent' as always. "So I decided if I want to improve my skill then I would master the science of art and literature!"

What skill… Ichigo idly thought to himself. I bet you only want flirt with the girls.

"At first, I want to be a female pro-wrestler but someone from a manga company see thru my skills and gave me a scholarship at this university…" Tatsuki interjected, explaining why does she take up such course. "Plus they said that after I've graduated collage, I would be hired instantly at their company. It'll be such a waste if we decline such offer isn't it, Orihime?"

"…We?" asked by a confused Ichigo.

"Yeah. 'We,' Orihime and I was given a two year scholarship by a manga company that visited our school last year." Tatsuki clarified with an even tone. "I think you're absent Ichigo when they arrived."

"Inoue too?"

"Y-yes, they said that I have the talent to become a good manga artist." Orihime added timidly. "They've said that my imagination was fitted to become a manga artist. Plus I like watching anime so I decided to take the offer…"

"Ehh… What about you Chado?"

"I entered because……………I like to draw."

"Is that so?"

"Ahh…" replied by a stiff Chado.

"My turn! My turn!" The bubbly Keigo insisted, waving his hand dramatically.

"What about you Ishida?"

However, he was completely ignored so Keigo just sulk at the corner of the room with dim lights shimmering above his head.

"Are you talking to me?" Ishida rudely respond, pushing up his glasses that allowed light to illuminate within its glasses. "Well, I'll explain it briefly so that even a dimwit like you can understand…" He arrogantly mocked. "In order to make top quality garments, one must master all the forms and details of every textile present in a dress, such knowledge within the aspect of art designing is highly needed in the clothing industry and hence attract affluent benefactors."

'…'

Say what? The orange haired guy perplexingly thought. Narrowing his eyes he just said in response, "Yeah…right."

"So how about you…" Ichigo sighed in defeat. "Keigo…"

At last! A soothing music to Keigo's ears.

"Well, if you insist…"

I do not… He muttered silently. Like a possessed person, Keigo stated his statement on why did he choose fine arts as preferable collage course.

While Keigo continued his mind numbing statement, (that no one paid any attention) the gang chats about things that come in mind.

"So Ichigo, what's the deal between you and that girl over there?" Tatsuki asked, pointing a finger at the raven haired girl sitting two meters away from them.

"Completely nothing!" Ichigo hastily replied, gesturing an 'X' symbol on his arm. "Nothing. At. All!"

And speaking of the devil…

"Oh are you by any chance, Kurosaki-kun?" A very familiar yet so annoying (well only for Ichigo anyway) voice echoes at their back. It was highly pitched and had a forged sweetness within her words. "Konichiwa Mina-san! I'm Kuchiki Rukia, and it's a pleasure to meet you all." She sat to the chair right next to Ichigo.

Bitch, acting all sweet and nice in public…

"So Kuchiki-san, why did you choose fine arts instead of other courses?" Inoue innocently asked.

"Well, Its because I had a passion on sketch and drawing things…"

"Pfft, Passion on sketch and drawing my ass! More like obsession over crappy bunnies if you asked me." Ichigo muttered quietly that only the next person beside him could hear.

BAM!

The raven haired girl slapped her notebook right into the face of the orange haired guy sitting beside her.

"Oh my, I'm really sorry Kurosaki-kun!" Rukia falsely apologized, still using a high pitched tone of voice. "There's a fly in your face moments ago, and so I instinctively grabbed my notebook to hit it. sniff I-I'm really sorry Ku-Kurosaki-kun sniff I really didn't intend to hit you…" She amazingly shed a solitary tear that ran down her cheeks instantly, her acting was so good that everyone on the group believed her instantly. (Except Ichigo of course)

BITCH!!

"By the way Ichigo, why did you choose fine arts instead of Doctorate?" Tatsuki asked, remembering that Kurosaki family owns a clinic at their house. "Your dad owns a clinic isn't it?"

"Err, Yeah but I just want to learn proper stances on fighting and self defense that's all…"

'…?'

"FIGHTING AND SELF DEFENSE!?" Everyone aversely yelled in unison. A confused expression can be discerned all over their faces.

"Yeah, something like, combat standpoints and strategies on a battle." He explained, narrowing his eye in their weird reaction.

"What're you talking about Ichigo?" Tatsuki irritably asked, crossing her arms together.

"What do you mean? Fine 'arts' is a type of subject that teaches Martial 'arts' isn't it?"

WHAT THE……HELL!? Everyone thought as they process the information thru their simple minds. Upon realization of the matter, each and every individual in the gang dropped onto the ground, anime style!

"Idiot!! Fine Arts are a type of course that teaches people how to properly draw and create illustrations!" Ishida enlightened ' Keigo d'second ' using a, 'as-a-matter-of-fact' tone of voice. "It's not a course about silly skirmish and warfare!"

"Hahaha! Ichigo… how—haha! Stupid… can you get? Even if the end of the words—hahaha! Are the same, it doesn't mean that they have the same meaning—Hahaha!!" Tatsuki said in between her laughter's.

"Real nice, 'Homer Simpson,' real nice…" Rukia chuckled, also laughing with the other lunatics.

GODDAMMIT!! The embarrassed Ichigo, upsettingly thought.

- End of Ultra Super Mega Flashback -

"Bullshit…" He threateningly muttered. "I'd completely make a fool of myself earlier…"

Ichigo was abruptly awakened from his reverie when he smelled something burning coming from the kitchen. Instinctively, he quickly sprinted towards the smoky room.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING DUMBASS!!" Ichigo shouted full throttle when he reached the smoke-filled room. Apparently, a certain petite sapphire-eyed girl caused the fire. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING THERE DAZED? GO FIND SOME FIRE EXTINGUISHER QUICK!"

Rukia was instantly stirred from her trance when she heard his yell, the dark haired girl immediately followed his order and started to scan the cabinets. Fire extinguisher… Fire extinguisher…Rukia nervously thought as she checked every ledge and cabinet within the area. "ICHIGO, I CAN'T FIND THE DAMN FIRE EXTINGUISHER!!"

The fire enraged frantically every minute that passed by, and now not only the stove was burning but also the table right next to it.

"WH-WHAT!? GODDAMMIT! FIND A HOSE THEN TO BE CONNECTED THRU THE FAUCET!" The panicky, Ichigo ordered worryingly. He was fanning the flame by the use of his bare hands due to the sudden rush of adrenaline that gave him the courage to step forth the burning area. "RUKIA! HURRY!!"

"ICHIGO!" Rukia shouted at full comparison, holding an elongated hose. "I FOUND SOME!!"

"GOOD, CONNECT IT IMMIDIATELY!" He quickly instructed. "BE SURE TO SLOWLY RELEASE THE OUTLET BEFORE YO—"

SWIISH!!

"Opened it…"

Before Ichigo could actually finish his statement, Rukia had already twisted the faucet full force causing the hose to discharge boundless amount of water. The flame was immediately quenched due to a sudden gush of water. However, Ichigo was also caught with the stream of water and was soaking wet on the spot.

Silence…

"Ichi—"

"What the heck are you doing!?" The orange haired student interjected. He wasn't mad that he was dripping wet because of her, he was mad because she almost burned the apartment down and didn't bothered to call him. "You've could at least call! Who knows what might happen if I didn't notice the smoke!"

Silence…

"…I…I'm sorry." A guilt-ridden, Kuchiki Rukia whispered silently. She bit her lip and lowered her head forlornly.

Huh, is she……apologizing?

It definitely wasn't the reaction he'd expect. Hell, Ichigo guessed that she would retort angrily and snapped back at him. He scuffed the tip of his brows to think of a response that he would say, his face lit up when a he thought of a good idea for revenge.

He grab a bucket full water and tossed it on her face.

SPLASH!

Within seconds, the cerulean-eyed girl was soaked with a blank expression pasted on her face.

Ichigo stared at her. A minute passed, and then another. Rukia blinked twice. He wondered impatiently how long it would take her to react.

"WHAT WAS THAT FOR, BASTARD!" Snorted by a fuming Rukia.

Finally…Ichigo rolled his eyes. "Now were even."

"That's totally uncalled for!" She reasoned.

"Dumbass! You drenched me earlier so it is fair to drench you too!"

"What kind of philosophy is that!?" Rukia said, eyes burning with infuriation. She grabbed a pail of water and threw it on the face of Ichigo. "Now we're truly even."

"Now you've crossed the line bitch!" The soaking-wet orange head snapped, grabbing the hose that they've used earlier. He released the faucet and spattered raging water towards the girl but in a flash, she gracefully dodged it and stole the hose from his hand.

"Too slow…" She conceitedly mocked, gripping a portion of the hose. "Are you ready to die bastard?"

Noticing the growing lump in the hose, he unsteadily said, "Y-You wouldn't dare!"

"Try me…" She immediately loosened her grip on the hose, and released a rampant burst of water that is headed towards the terrified guy.

WHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSH!!!

"Why you—" He frustratingly replied, blocking the burst of water. Unaware of the person standing at the door, they continued splashing water insanely.

"What's going on here?" Urahara asked.

The soaking-wet 'couple' instantly stopped in a position where the orange haired guy was lying at the floor while a petite girl holding a hose was on his top. They look at the landlord and blinked twice.

"U-Ummm…cleaning the room?" Both of them explained lamely.

---------

A knock came from the door of Rukia's room. She locked herself to her room, ashamed upon the actions that she'd done awhile ago. The raven haired beauty got hungry so she decided to prepare some dinner, but since she doesn't have any prior knowledge on culinary arts, the stove ended up being burned to dust.

Several minutes have passed and the knock still hadn't stopped. Hell, It became even louder by the second so the aggravated, Rukia roughly opened the door rudely saying, "What is it!?"

Her eyes widen in disbelief.

A handful of delectable food and medicine met her gaze straight away upon opening the door.

It was brought up by none other than the master of the scowl, Kurosaki Ichigo. "Isn't it obvious?" He quickly replied, handling over the food to her without initial contact thru her face.

The food was simply composed of a basic Japanese meal arrangement that consist of Gohan (rice) with accompanying tsukemono (pickles) a bowl of soup and Yakizakana (Flame grilled fish) in which served with daikon.

"Your food…" He said with a 'pretend-to-be' bored tone of voice.

Silence…

She stared at the different sets of delectable on his hand. Rukia gazed slowly at his face and slowly accepted the food.

"…Thanks."

"Huh?" This time, he's the one who felt surprise. He turned his head to meet her— happy? expression. Ichigo examined her face at the moment. This freaki'n girl aren't that bad when you think about it… if she's not bickering or acting all sweet and bubbly, she's somehow looked cu—

"What, Having a perverted fetishes about me in your sick mind already?" The sarcastic dark haired beauty teased him with a chuckle.

Cute my ass! She's definitely a bitch, a really good one! A vein snapped at the forehead of the orange head. Ichigo was about to retort when she abundantly intercepted him.

"Did you cook it?"

"The Sandal hat dude and his posse are not here to cook for the spoiled bitch isn't it?"

Rukia ignored his insult— or much rather didn't heard him. "Well what do you know, even a childish bastard like you can do something useful once in awhile…" She said with a pleased emotion written all over her face. "Just be sure it's delicious...Ichigo."

The upset, Ichigo was about to insult her but due to that simple acknowledgement from the girl, his mind went into a standstill and cannot think of anything but to smile back at her. He coolly placed his hand onto his pockets as he lean thru the wall in his back and hence with a smile, he stated, "I'll take that as a complement…"

They both stared at each other, practically didn't notice eight eyes spying at them along the corners of the hall.

"Just be sure to eat that before it gets cold…"

"…Yeah."

And with a nod, Rukia finally entered her room while Ichigo walk leisurely towards his own.

But suddenly…

"Ackkk!!" Rukia yelled disgustingly thru her room. "Wh-What's this?"

The orange haired guy without thinking entered her personal space to check if she's alright.

"Rukia!" He stated with a hint of concern in his tone. "What happen?"

"What the heck is this!?" The raven haired replied, holding her neck while roughly coughing out what she'd ate.

"What do you mean?" The confused, Ichigo asked walking carefully towards the girl.

"This taste like dirt!" She criticized with a venomous tone of voice. "You're trying poison me aren't you bastard!?"

What the fucking hell?

"Goddammit! I should've let you starve to death after all! I'd lowered myself down enough to feed a stupid bubbly bitch like you and what do I get—" Ichigo angrily retorted, a contemptuous aura surrounds his whole demeanor. "Be insulted by the person who almost burned the apartment down on her first day… unbelievable!" He snorted back, nearing his face towards the girl's face. If someone hadn't known that they weren't bickering at that time, they'll surely think that they are doing lovey-dovey and over-sentimental mushy things. They were so close that if he only moves a little closer, they could practically peck the lips of the other.

But of course they wouldn't do that, not even in a million years now would they?

"Your cooking sucks Bastard!"

"Shut up, you stupid brat!"

"Stupid brat? Watch your mouth pervert! I'm three year's older than you!"

"Oh really? Its highly doubtful with that 'A-cup' size of br—"

A powerful kick connected thru his crotch courtesy of the raven haired beauty. He instantly dropped onto his knees holding his tooth tooth dramatically.

"Bi-Bitch!"

"Bastard!"

"Pervert!"

"Obsessed bunny fanatic!"

"Hey, don't include chappy here!"

Fifteen minutes later…

"Stupid damn peeping tom who sucks at cooking!"

"Well So-ree you freaki'n sadistic psycho bitch!"

Three hours and twenty seconds in counting after midnight…

"What did you say! You flat chested 'pretend-to-be-old' whined up unconventional girl!"

"Hey I'm 21 already, you gluttonous cheap panny-ass gay freak wit an IQ of –200!"

"What did you say you twisted self-absorbed sarcastic cold-hearted cheeky dwarf!"

"DWARF!? You called me a dwarf? You self-centered filthy immoral pig!"

"Why you, Bullshi—"

"WILL YOU STOP IT ALREADY!? IT'S FREAKIN 3:13 AM FOR CHRIST SAKE!"

Someone or rather something shouted at the cabinet of Rukia. It was somewhat a bright yellowed lion-like plushie or stuff toy that is…talking and walking.

What the—

Ichigo immediately flinched backwards at the corner of the room when he caught sight of the object. In that instant, he was uncertain if he had still a rationale mind functioning thru his brain. The orange haired guy even acknowledged the possibility that he might actually be brought to the 'Asylum for the Insane'.

Well, who would blame him, any rationale person will do the same thing if he sees a freaki'n plushie talking and walking on its own with no stings attached.

"WHA-WHA-WHA-WHAT T-THE FUCKING HELL IS THAT THING!!" Ichigo unsteadily shouted, shakily pointing at the small figure in front of him.

Rukia rolled her eyes at his reaction. "Kon, even if he's a complete idiot, didn't I tell you to never go out whenever there's a visitor at my room?"

"But nee-san, He's so damn loud!" The talking stuff toy reasoned. "I can't charge my batteries properly."

"Oh yeah, speaking of that idiot—" Rukia evenly stated. She looked at the corner where Ichigo cringed but to her surprise the poor boy already passed out with a pale face and eyes twitched upwards as if he'd seen a ghost. "Oh my… I think he already passed out."

"I think he's already dead Nee-san…" Kon replied, poking a wooden stick to Ichigo's face.

"You think so?"

---------

Ichigo was finally awaken and was blankly staring at her doodles of explanation.

"Do you understand?" The dark haired girl questioned with an illustration board on her hand.

"With that crappy doodles of yours, how can I?"

BAM!

---------

"So let me get this straight. He's a top-secret invention of a prestigious robotic corporation."

The 'seemingly-calm' Ichigo reviewed, arms entwined altogether.

She nodded in response.

"And this plushie is a proto-type version of the worlds most advance artificial intelligence?"

A nod again in response.

"And he's ten years advance than any technology present in our current time?"

Another nod from the girl.

"Okay, I'll— HOW CAN I BELIVE THAT DUMBASS!!" Ichigo yelled in disapproval, throwing the teacup at Kon. "I may believe you if you've said that he's somewhat possessed by a spirit or something like that but the most advance AI? PU-LEASE!! Ten years advance my ass!"

"Teme! Why won't you believe? Nee-san" Kon inquired, pointing fingers at him angrily. "You see me moving alone isn't it?"

"So then, won't you kindly tell me why is the 'most advance robot in the world' is in the hands of a mere ordinary citizen such as yourself Dumbass?" He questioned, putting a little stress on the 'most advance robot'.

"Well, it came from our compa—no it was a gift from someone …" She informed him plainly.

"Yeah right, and pigs fly." Ichigo playfully joked and unconsciously blocked his arm, ready for her attack.

However, neither punch nor kick came from the girl.

"Huh?" He lamely muttered, slowly opening his eyes.

"Whether you believe me or not, it doesn't matter." Rukia sleepily commented. "Leave. I'm tired already, or are you too scared to sleep on your own so you want to cuddle up with me?" She teased with a smirk attached to her face, arms folded simultaneously.

"Goddammit! Who would want to cuddle up with you?" The exasperated Ichigo left with a grunt. The orange haired guy used the slide door that connects both rooms to return to his own room. He heard her saying, "Don't even think of peeping you maniac." from the opposite side.

"I'll be dammed if I would Dumbass!"

And after a few minutes, the 'newlyweds' had drifted in a cold dreamless slumber instantly.

--------

Because of their ruckus earlier, Ichigo had only slept for about good three hours that day. He groggily opened his eyes to meet the warm bright su—

Unexpectedly, his eyes widen on what he'd caught a glimpse, first thing in the morning.

Upon opening his tired eyes, the first thing that Ichigo sees isn't entirely what he'd thought it would. There was a muscular man with a weird mustache, embracing him and was about to stole his sacred first kiss when he opened his eyes.

Not exactly what everyone wanted to see first thing in the morning now is it?

So he just did the most rationale response that everyone would think of at such occasion,

He screamed full throttle.

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Good, Nice reaction you got there!"

"TO HELL WITH MY REACTION!!" Ichigo retorted, 100 percent awake at the moment. He somehow threw the bigger man out of his bed. "Firstly, what are you doing here in my room Dumbass!"

"The owner asked me to wake you up Kurosaki-dono." The impenetrable Tessai responded casually. Suddenly something from 'down under' caught the glass-eyed machoman's attention.

"My my, sorry for intruding your 'wet-dreams' Kurosaki-dono. You know I have a efficient herbal products that can help you with your erection problems."

"Huh? What the hell are you talki'n about?" Ichigo said. Following the older guys gaze, the orange haired guy instantly blocked something below his waist in embarrassment. "Teme! Mind your own personal business!"

"Oh it's so nice to be young…"

--------

"So Tessai, I presume that Kurosaki-san is already awake?" Their landlord Urahara asked gleefully at the kitchen, reading some newspapers.

"Up and kicking…"

--------

"Well isn't that a coincidence. So the two of you are also classmates?" Urahara Keisuke asked, stirring up a conversation at the dinner table.

"Yeah…" Ichigo lazily replied, getting his second servings of the food. "Now I'm stuck with her most of the time…"

"Same goes foe me bastard…"

"Now, now isn't it too early to start an argument?" Urahara said, acting like a referee on a bout. "Besides, you're gonna be late for school if you start another argument akin to last night…"

"So you've heard us…" Rukia said, eating modestly beside Ichigo.

"Of course, you've argued for almost three hours."

"Sorry about that."

"Don't worry about it, No harm done!" He replied, lifting his weight from his chair. "What I want to know is why does the stove looks like a scrap from World War II?"

"Oh Th-That, It's because I—"

"I think the wiring short circuit. When we smelled the smoke and ran into the kitchen, it's already burning…" Ichigo finished her statement, acting all casual and unbothered. "By the way old sandal hat dude, where'd you go yesterday? Your sandal is here but I can't find you." He makes queries, obviously changing the topic of conversation.

"Oh, urgent stuffs happened and I have to leave immediately."

"Is that so?" He replied, cleaning his used plate. "Rukia, hurry up or we'll be late for class. I don't want another boring speech from that cranky teacher."

--------

The two collage students had already leaved the apartment and on it's way to the train station.

"…Thank you." Rukia said, out of the blue. "For covering up the kitchen accident."

"Oh that? It's nothing…" Ichigo replied with an idle tone of voice. "Besides, I'll be in a hell of trouble if I told him the truth."

When she heard him say such inconsiderate thing, she felt mad and irritated. But what surprised her most is that she felt slightly hurt deep down inside. "So you're saying that you've only said that to save your own skin?" She snapped at him.

Ichigo blinked, making her feel stupid for bursting out in rambles. "Yeah, is there a problem?" He blankly asked, still oblivious as ever.

Rukia lowered her head a little, bit her lip and muttered, "No… not a problem at all."

Hmph. What would you expect from a dense person after all… The dark haired girl asked herself.

"Oi Ichigo! Hurry up, will you?"

To be continued…

------

A/N: So ppl's that was it! I've only done this last night (coz of my scary nightmare) and I immediately posted it. I only reviewed this once and my drowsiness keeps bugging me so pardon for my mistakes. We've ran out of coffee so I think I'm gonna sleep for now….

So anyway, send me your suggestions, comments, complements or you just want to talk by the use of reviews…I might reply but for now I need my rest.

Dear god, please don't let those creepy nightmare's enter my slumber….


	3. The Perfect among perfect of days

A/N: Sorry that took me awhile to write, blame my too much hectic schedule or rather blame the creators of that schedule, thank you all for the reviews and hope you like this chapter…

I sorta feel high (coz of ice cream) when I write this chapter so sorry for my weird conjectures.

Well anyway on with the story.

Disclaimer: If bleach would be auctioned I would place a wage immediately…

OoOoOoOoOoOo

**Chapter: 3 The perfect among perfect days. **

Both of them arrived on time earlier, the all so lovingly 'old hag' was about to check their attendance when the pair arrived on time that practically make the teeth of the terror teach grind.

The boring day was consisted of solving mind-numbing analytical calculus problems and long, brain-cracking term and research papers in advance literature. Rukia sat by the window, gazing at warm blue sky while Ichigo leisurely chat at his other lunatic peers, he agitatedly tried to explain that it was a complete coincidence that they've both arrive together, while she on the other hand was sitting peacefully at her chair watching him squabble with his friends, it was so amusing to see his expression change from anger to embarrassment then go back to being angry in just a mere seconds. She smiled at his behavior then went back gazing at the soft white clouds floating from afar.

So this is what it likes to be normal…I wonder what Kiyone, Sentarou and Renji are doing right now…

Nii-sama…

**- Flashback - **

"Rukia, this tradition is essential in order for our kin to prosper even more, such childish request are irrelevant and hence will only bring forth inconsequential predicaments in the near future…"

"But Nii-sama—"

"The decision is final and any objections will be denied by the chiefs of the group."

"…I understand Nii-sama."

**- End of Flashback -**

RIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNGG!!!

Her trance was abruptly stopped when the bell rang and most population of the students was already leaving their respective classes to enjoy eating their lunches with their school buddies. The hall was occupied by several girls that gathered in flocks, giggling and gossiping about the hottest 'heartthrob' at school while a small group of sick demented otaku's chattered nonstop about the latest episodes of a erotic anime series.

Of course it was no exception to our favorite dysfunctional group, they choose to eat at the rooftop of Karakura University where Inoue and Tatsuki are talking about the latest ingenious experiment that the strawberry haired girl created at her kitchen and Chado, Mizuiro, Keigo and Ichigo talked about nothing in particular. Ishida sits by himself somewhere along the rails, eating his goddamn food elegantly.

The arrogant bastard…

"Orihime, what's this?" The martial arts expert in the group questioned Inoue's new 'master piece'. "Is it edible?"

"Of course Tatsuki-chan! It's called grilled hotdog stew." Inoue said rather proud of herself. "I grilled the hotdog then chopped into pieces to mix at the stew, isn't it delicious?"

"Y-Yeah…"

Meanwhile, at the other side of the roof, the guys have been debating on whether who's gonna buy the refreshments and was soon decided by a good old traditional rock-paper-scissor.

"ROCK PAPER SCISSOR!!" all of them yelled in unison.

The results…

Chado – Scissors

Mizuiro – Scissors

Keigo – Scissors (Everyone gasped and thought it was a fluke)

And the last and certainly the least, Scowl boy…

Paper.

Dear Kami, do you hold some kind of grudge against me?

"Ichigo! Buy me a tropical mango flavored juice pack okay?" Keigo pleadingly insisted, an exaggerated tears flowed thru his face madly. "I'm dying of thirst…so return quick."

"Vanilla mint." Said by Chado.

"Lemon ice tea, and don't put some ice." Mizuiro added, still acting all so innocent. "And by the way Ichigo, invite that cute girl with black hair on your way back! I never thought you had it in you, You make me proud to be your friend. If you want to know something about different stuff, don't hesitate to ask okay?"

"DAMMIT! DON'T START WITH ME! I DIDN'T KNOW THAT BUNNY-OBSSESED GIRL!!" Ichigo snapped at him, eyes flaring treacherously.

He returned his statement with a sigh. "Hai, hai…"

But suddenly, Mizuiro's eyes widen at his sudden realization.

"Ichigo, how did you know that she was obsessed over bunnies?" He shadily stated, narrowing his eyes sinisterly. Now everyone in the group was interested in what they've been talking. Hell, even pencil stopped eating to watch, but seems to show no real interest.

"W-well, I-It's because…"

"Well?"

"U-um…it's because e-earlier, I head her talking with someone— yeah that's right! I heard them talking about fluffy bunnies! Hahaha, yeah I only heard them…" Ichigo explained with a trembling voice, in his mind he keeps praying to Kami over and over to make these lunatic believe his alibi.

And the power of prayer succeeded this time.

"Is that so…" Mizuiro said with a defeated tone. "I thought I was up to something. I guess my intuition was wrong this time."

Ichigo rubbed the sweat in his forehead. "So I'm off to buy some juice then!" He exhaled, stand up and leave immediately before they thought of new idiotic things that goddamn knows what.

Chado looked at him as he opened the door at the rooftop, "Ichigo………be sure to be back in one piece."

He gulped and replied coolly through the door, "Yeah, I'll be back in a minute."

-------

Right after he finally reached the end of the goddamn exhausting stairs, Ichigo head straight towards their school cafeteria, and as usual it was teeming with ravenous teenagers trying to buy a small piece of bread and different sorts of fares for the day. Each student was like hungry hyenas on the wild ready to bite at a sudden struck of chance.

Inhale…Exhale…

Ichigo take a step backwards to condition himself for the most challenging battle that he'll ever face (and probably everyday) in his entire collage life…

Buying a couple of juice pack.

The battle music finally intoned in the background as well as the 3 dimensional camera angles has been triggered. The courageous orange haired 'tough guy' gulped heavily as he leaps towards the swarming crowd of teens ahead of him…

And the battle for buying juices has begun.

No one was exempted…

Only the toughest and the swift would survive…

He pulled a dude with a tomahawk hairdo to advance further but an inadvertent elbow from a guy beside him almost hit Ichigo's face. Luckily enough, he dodged it on time.

"Goddammit, Move you bastards!" He frustratingly shouted, moving a little closer to his goals.

He was halfway on his objective and the juice vendor was on a three feet radius in front of him. The only thing left to do if lift his hand and yell full throttle,

"FOUR PIECES OF JUICE PACK PLEASE!!"

---------

Minutes later, Ichigo had narrowly escaped 'Armageddon' and was now heading back to the rooftop where his eccentric colleagues are waiting for him.

However, a familiar figure caught his attention. A petite girl with a silky black hair and azure eyes was leaning along a huge maple tree, completely spaced-out at the moment.

Ichigo stared at her intently, He never paid any attention to it before but… she could sometimes be so— captivating on different circumstances, just like at this moment for example, Rukia's soft silky dark hair dances to the chill breeze of early summer and her pair of orbs sparkle vividly underneath the glow of the warm bright sun.

Her trance left him feel only one thing…

Breathless.

Suddenly, he felt the stirrings of something unexpected awaken inside of him.

What the fucking hell?

Though he asked himself that question, a voice deep within him gave him the most absurd answer ever so he immediately denied that fact and blamed the lighting effect for the sudden increase of her grandeur. There's now way Kurosaki Ichigo could ever be in l— ummm, 'interested' on such a barbaric girl.

"Hey what are you doing there dazed all of a sudden?"

Immediately recognizing the rigid voice, Rukia felt surprise.

She vaguely turned her gaze over to find a very annoying 'royal-pain-in-the-ass' walking towards her with his inerasable scowl engraved within his face. He stopped nearly three paces beside her.

"Here." He started, giving the cerulean-eyed girl a Juice pack that was supposedly belonged to Keigo. (Poor guy)

"What's this?" Rukia innocently asked, grabbing the juice pack to his hand.

"Duh, a Juice Pack of course!"

Rukia rolled her eyes, offended for some reason. "I know that! What I mean is why are you giving me this?"

He looked directly to her eyes, halting her anger with his scowl-free gazed and with a sigh he said in response, "To tell you the truth, I didn't know either…"

The irritation in her eyes immediately dissipated, and a silent giggles escaped her lips.

"You know… you're weird." Rukia openly commented. A small smile curled up along her face.

"Dumbass, it takes one to know one." The orange haired collage student replied with his arms crossed altogether. He took a sip instantly after he pricked his juice then turned to the raven-haired beauty beside him when he noticed how the way she drink her own juice, a poised laugh that makes him look insane escape his mouth all of a sudden.

"What's so funny?"

His laugh died out gradually. "Well, you drink like shit, you reminded me of my younger sister when you drink your juice." He then leans along the trunk of the tree that is located on the verdant meadow of their university, arms shielding the back his head.

"Younger sister?" She questioned with a baffled face.

"Yeah, her name is Karin, she also likes to play with the straw and make noises whenever she drinks juice packs."

She tapped her chin thoughtfully. "Is that so…"

His posture straightened and asked nonchalantly, "So, how's your family like?"

The sapphire-eyed girl felt a little surprised, completely didn't know how to respond.

"Why do you want to know?"

Ichigo thought about this and just shrugged his shoulders in a casual manner.

"Just curious that's all…"

Rukia closed her eyes as she recalls her own relatives. She sat and leans at the trunk downheartedly, staring at the leaves that breeze along the winds, remembering everything that happened in the past few months.

"I used to live with my older brother ever since our parents died from an accident. He's a strict and responsible brother, not to mention very traditional. He is also the head of one of the most prestigious company here in Japan."

"So that makes you a spoiled princess from a hu—"

BAM!

"Shut-it! I'm trying to be serious here."

"So what makes the heir to a prestigious company study here in Karakura University?" Ichigo rubbed the lump on his head then asked. "If your family is that much powerful, shouldn't you be studying on such well known schools like Tokyo University or overseas?"

"W-Well…I ran away."

"…Come again?"

An intolerant sigh left her lips, "I ran away after I graduated high school."

He returned her statement with a surprised look. "For real?"

Rukia paused, uncertain if she would reveal the reasons on why she did such thing. Finally she decided to spill the beans, "It's because my broth— no our family set a prearranged nuptials right after I graduated high school."

"Y-You mean like an arrange marriage?"

"Yeah… Since I our family was managing one of the most affluent business corporations in Japan, it has become a tradition in our family that in order to merge stocks or finance to other companies, a legitimate union of kin must be carry out first in order to preserve the reputation and status of the lineage." The cerulean-eyed girl explained with a heartrending voice. She lowered her head, fighting the tears that were threatening to spill.

"So that's why you ran away…" Ichigo replied. "Can't blame you though… if I was on your position, I would definitely run away as well."

Her eyes widened instantly when she heard those words came out of the orange head's mouth.

If I were on your position, I would run away as well.

Startled that Ichigo have said exact same word that her old childhood friend (with a distinct red hair) said to her years ago, Rukia's expression lightened up a little.

"You know, a friend of mine said the same thing to me when I ran away for the first time. Ever since I was small, they informed me that I would have a prearranged marriage, at first I didn't really care about it really, but as I grew older, I slowly began to understand the importance of such agreement… My mind froze when they announce that I would immediately be married when I finished my high school so I ran away." The raven haired girl informed, cradling her arms sadly. She simply closed her eyes as she continues to speak. "I wanna see the world with my own eyes, not to a static box contraption. To tell you the truth, I never attended school, tutors and instructors always arrive at our house to teach me different things… It felt like I was a bird trapped in a cold cage and the only time that I can see the outside world is whenever Nii-sama would attend some social gatherings that required my presence."

Rukia managed to let out a brief chuckle.

"I once tried to escape when I was thirteen, with the help of my friend I see the outside world for the very first time freely…I walk around the streets for hours, sat at a bench on a lake without bodyguards monitoring your every move and eat any types of food that I want." She simply told him. "That's the first time that I felt really alive… free from the cage that binds me every time, free from the people that criticize my every action… I felt like a bird soaring thru the bright blue sky, without the cage that bounds me into the ground."

"So what happens then?" He murmured silently.

Rukia stared. Completely awoken from her reverie.

"Hmm? Oh— in the end, I was caught by my brothers bodyguard. I was punished after that but I didn't felt any regrets for what I did… that's one of my cherished memories when I was a kid and I would treasure that small moment for the rest of my life."

'…'

Strange, I only knew this idiot recently…She manage a sideway glance, looking at him at the corners of her eye. But for some reason, I felt so relaxed being close to him…She mentally slapped herself, looking away with a pale blush on her face. In a friendly way of course!

Awkward silence.

"You know… for all of the individuals I know that is more decent and well-mannered, why did I tell my private childhood memories to a thick-minded idiot like yourself?" She tapped her chin innocently, a sudden gasp exhaled from her lips. "I knew it! You put some truth serum in that juice did you!?"

His expression quickly turned into a dumbfounded blank stare.

"W-What! Why would I do that dumbass?" Ichigo snorted. He stands up from where he was sitting, cleaning the dirt in his jeans and slowly walks away.

"Rukia, wait for me at the school gate after class okay?"

Huh? Are you serious? She wryly turned around upon hearing Ichigo's voice.

"Why, You planning to kidnap me and sell me to the Yakuza's?" She sarcastically shouted under the shade of the tree that they were sitting earlier. Her voice seems livelier for some reason.

"It would be great, but no!" He replied and shrugged. "We would tour the world in three hours."

--------

Ichigo was back at the rooftop and was instantly assaulted by a partially dehydrated Keigo.

He looks like a dried out zombie from a classic black and white movie called 'Attack of the Living Dead'

"I-Ichigo…where's…my j-juice?"

"…."

"…Crap."

An obnoxious twittering crow passed above them.

---------

Rukia was anxious. His bold statement caught her off guard and definitely intrigued the girl. She was spaced out for the entire afternoon. Luckily enough, she could still answer some of the questions that their 'lovable' mathematics teacher asked her.

The sapphire-eyed student continued to ponder on the matter as if it was a riddle that hasn't been solved. Well, if you based it on physics, it was undeniably impossible. It would take at least a year for an average person to round the world. She deeply thought.

So how does the master of scowl could perform such act?

She can only guessed.

At least it was five after dismissal so her questions would be answered finally. She sat on a nearby bench along the gates of the school as she waits impatiently for his appearance.

She watched some of the student's leave the premises with their respective boyfriend or girlfriends, their fingers romantically entwined with each other as they stroll along the busy streets of the town. Hah! I would never do such vulgar thing in my entire life. Rukia irritably thought to herself but she felt an unexpected ache inside of her.

Jealous?

Offered by a voice inside her.

HELL NO! She mentally slapped herself. Why would I be? There's nothing to be jealous in the first place anyway… I'm just tired that's all.

"Oi, Earth to Rukia!" A brawny voice stirred her reverie. "Come'on, we'll gonna be late dumbass!"

"Ichigo…"

"Goddammit! Will you just hurry up?"

"Where are we going anyway?"

"Just shut up will ya?"

"Are you ordering me to shut up?" Rukia snapped, standing from the bench that she was sitting. "How can I stay silent when I don't know where I'm going? I'd say that you'll kidnap me and make me do some weird things."

"Just follow me and decide okay?"

--------

Ichigo narrowed his eyes to the sudden change of attitude of the girl. It's his first time to see a person that had mood swing that changes every minute. First, she was acting all bitchy then she would suddenly be quiet and give him the 'silent treatment' then she would be back to her sarcastic annoying self as if nothing had happened.

And now, the raven haired girl was acting like a lively still-annoying innocent girl when they arrived at their destination. Ichigo considerately sighed as he gazed at the naiveté of the girl. She was partially ecstatic and was eager to enter the amusement park.

Heck, he wouldn't be surprised if it's her first time to be in such a place.

"Oi Ichigo, I'm leaving you if you stay there!" She happily stated, a genuine smile was curved in her face.

"Hai, Hai…" Ichigo responded as he put his hands on his pockets, eyebrows arched slightly and a smile gradually formed into his face as they entered the park.

---------

"Here we are." He idly spoke up as they arrived at the entrance of an attraction in the amusement park. Quite a few numbers of people are standing on the line to also get a ticket.

"Miniature Earth?" Rukia asked him confusingly as they stand on the line.

"Yeah, it's a tiny scale replica's of the distinctive wonders of the world." Ichigo answered back. "This is the second time that I've entered the attraction though."

"Hmm."

'…'

Silence.

'…'

"Nice weather eh?" Ichigo commented, folding his arms together.

"Huh? right…" She replied absentmindedly.

Silence.

Ichigo tapped his shoes instinctively, at last the line progressed a few centimeters. He took a step forward but accidentally…

PLUNK!

The orange haired student stepped into her foot.

"WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING BASTARD!"

He clenched his fist tightly. "You didn't go forward Dumbass, that's why I stepped unto your shoes!"

Her eye twitched angrily. "So now you're saying that it's my fault?"

They started to gawk at each other yet again and accumulated some unwanted attention in the area, numerous coughs can be heard from bystanders that make them feel embarrassed and turned their face away from each other.

---------

"Wow, It's so beautiful here!" Rukia astonishingly remarked. It takes them for about freaki'n darn half a minute to enter the attraction and it goes without saying that both of them felt extremely irritated but that sensation disappeared when they've come inside the attraction. It was filled with tiny imitations of the prominent wonders in the world.

The sapphire-eyed girl was notably akin to Alice when she arrived at wonderland. Everything was like a dream to her like a magical place on a fair tale. She looks like 'Godzilla' due to the miniaturized buildings and structures around the area. On the far left of the theme park, a grand scale replica of a city in America called New York can be seen. Of course the marvel of the city was also copied, a standing tall eight ft. Statue of liberty.

"I only see this in television."

She ogled at the wonderful piece of replica in front of her, loop around it and finally, take a few pictures of the stature by the use of her cellphone. She ordered Ichigo to take the pictures and of course, knowing the orange head, he wouldn't do such abominable thing.

"What's your problem? I only asked you to take the pictures using my cellphone?"

"I'm not your servant Dumbass!"

"Ichigo, stop being so darn impossible!"

"Hah! look who's talki'n."

Their verbal dispute lasted for a good ten minutes and both are physically tired and on the limit of the atomic scale, so in the end it was decided by a simple game of rock-paper-scissors.

Trumpets

And the winners is…

---------

"Move closer to the right dammit!" Ichigo annoyingly said. The cerulean-eyed girl has won the game and acquired the every right to command him and that practically pissed the guy. However a mischievous prank entered his mind. "Okay, move to the left— argh, too much! Step a little to the right, alright now dance like a corny bunn—"

CLASH!

"Be serious bastard!"

"Okay okay, you don't need to be violent sheesh…"

Click!

"So how's that?" He offered, giving the cellphone back to Rukia. She grabbed the item and hastily checked the image. And with a sigh, the raven haired girl said, "Fine fine, good enough…"

-------

After that ruckus, the 'lovebirds' continued to tour the attraction. The trip around the area was unbelievably calm and ordinary. They visited each replica's of the various wonders of the world. Some of it is the worlds highest structure called Eiffel tower. They've also stopped by at the longest wall in china, the mystical pyramids of Egypt, the Anchor Watt and many other infamous marvels created by humans.

"So that's how you tour the world in three hours huh?" Rukia said while they leave the grounds.

He only gave a curt nod in response. He was physically and mentally tired due to their restless excursion. However, the cerulean-eyed girl was exceptionally in high spirits and still going strong as if she didn't know how to rest.

"Rukia, you hungry?" Ichigo offered, looking at a café in a distance.

"Huh? Now that you mention it I feel a little bit hungry."

"There's a café over there, want to eat?" he replied, pointing a finger at the restaurant.

"Your treat." The shrewd raven haired student demanded, an exigent smirk was appeared on her beautiful face. "A well-mannered gentlemen won't expect a girl to pay the bill aren't he?"

"Well mannered gentlemen my ass!" Ichigo's eyes narrowed. "I won't fall for your devious schemes again dumbass!"

"No choice then." Her voice darkened steadily increasing with each word. "We'll settle this in a best out of three games of rock-paper-scissors." She broadened her arms, ready for another round of Jacken.

The tension building up around them was thickening, neither was moving an inch nor blinking, completely concentrated on their charade. A cloud shaded the sun, gesturing that if the cloud completely passed by…

It was the inception of their clash.

"Rukia, are you ready?" asked Ichigo, his face filled with seriousness.

"Anytime you want."

"Okay, Rock-paper-scissor!" Both of them yelled in unison.

**Rock Rock**

**Paper Scissor**

"Hah, in your face!" Rukia cheerfully said, gesturing a 'V' sign on her fingers.

"Beginners luck."

"Rock-paper-scissor!"

**Scissor Rock **

"Yeah! One more to go!"

"Darn it!"

"Rock-paper-scissor!"

**Paper Rock **

"Whooho! I'm still in the game!" Ichigo yowled, his expression lightened up a little.

"Rock-paper-scissor!"

**Scissor Scissor **

**Paper Paper **

**Paper Rock**

"Were tie Rukia!"

"You're cheating aren't you?"

It all depends on this last round…The she thought, closing her eyes. Reminding herself that her allowance for the next day depends on this game, she took a deep breath and exhaled slowly before opening her eyes. "Are you ready Ichigo?"

"Rock-paper-scissors!"

In an instant a winner was immediately declared, and the victor is…

------

"You promised! The loser treats the winner." Rukia reminded him for the 13th time, using a tone that is almost singing. "How kind of you, 'Ichigo' "

I won't play that goddamn cursed game ever again!

"Shit…" He cursed as they sat at a table inside the café.

"So what might be these 'young couples' are ordering today?" A waiter in his mid thirties exclaimed. Putting a little emphasis on the word young couples. However you can't blame the guy for getting the wrong idea about those two. In a way, they were like going on a date, I mean when a boy and girl are going out together…alone, isn't that the definition of a date?

"Oh how kind of you to notic—" Rukia mischievously played along, making the orange head uneasy.

"WERE NOT LIKE THAT DUMBASS!" Ichigo embarrassingly defended, his face turning red like a tomato.

"Oh 'honey' why didn't you tell him the truth?" Rukia teasingly said with an all so sweetly tone of voice.

"S-Stop it Rukia, You're getting the wrong idea!" He uncomfortably replied, folding his arms. "We're just friends that's all."

"No need to be embarrassed, I'm just like that back on my teenage years…" The waiter replied, reminiscing about his past love. "Oh it's good to be young!"

"Like I said, we're not lov—"

"I would like one order of lasagnia please." The raven haired girl interjected.

"Okay, One order of lasagnia for Juliet coming right up!" He exclaimed. "How about you Romeo, what would you like?"

"Teme— Ah forget it! I would like a pasta and some French rolls!" He said dryly, giving back the menu from the annoying waiter.

After they ordered, he and Rukia sat in silence, gazing out at the dawning sky and streetlights. Suddenly, he averted his gaze to her.

She mystified him—no, everything that she does mystified him. She could sometimes be innocent as an angel but strangely incisive about her surroundings, but there's one thing he was certain about her….

_She was one heck of an interesting girl._

And that idea immediately brought a tiny smile on his face.

---------

Their orders arrived promptly five minutes after they've ordered and they ate on a normal basis, subtle conversation and a little tease about anything that comes in mind. Ichigo couldn't help but chuckle at her childish way of devouring the food, as he continued to gaze at the petite girl in front of him, he wondered if she's really was 3 yrs older than him. Her attitude, her height, her bre—umm cleavage… she really was akin to his younger sisters when you to think about it.

Younger sister… 

_Maybe that's why I felt comfortable around her… _

"Oi Ichigo, already tired?" Rukia said tauntingly rather than being concerned. She rested her chin on her hand as she gazed at the orange haired guy in front, her eyes sparkle enticingly due to the illuminating lights at the café.

He watched—no, he was stunned at her demeanor at that moment. For some reason her presence had a strange effect on him, and he couldn't understand why. In fact, when it comes to this dark haired girl, he didn't understand anything at all. She isn't afraid of him or intimidated by his look like most of the girl that he knew. Heck, despite of his insults, taunts and sarcasm towards her, she didn't get angry at all…

Well, not to the extent that she seriously wouldn't ever talk to him anyway…

Hell, it even felt like every time they exchange rude comments, they became even more closer to each other, at least that how he felt…

What does this girl have that other didn't have?  
Looks— Hah, I wish!  
Intelligence— Does she even have a brain?  
Attitude— hmm, maybe…NOT! She's a freaki'n barbaric girl for pete's sake!  
Cleavage— why do I even bother…  
Ichigo shook his head lightly and focused his mind on the girl sitting on the opposite side, a few locks of her hair fluttered as the chilly air blew past her. What am I thinking again? He absentmindedly thought to himself.  
She seems even more feminine than before…her face looks so— 

Ichigo quickly halted when he noticed a strand of sauce sticking at her cheeks, the magic died away and was replaced by a unbreakable laughter coming from the orange head.

"What's so funny?" The puzzled Rukia asked. She was busy gazing at the beautiful sunset when the idiot suddenly laughed out of the blue. She couldn't able to maintain a controlled face when his laughter increased gradually. "Are you some kind of a psycho that laughs without a reason?"

"I know I've said this earlier," He told him between mirthful peals of laughter. "Rukia, you eat like a pig!"

"What's that bastard!"

He grabbed a piece of tissue placed at the table and move closer from where she was sitting. _What's this idiot doing!? _She instinctively flinched backward and roughly closes her eye, preparing for the most absurd thing in the world.

Silence…

Rukia idly opened her eyes, as her eyes adjusted to her surroundings, she immediately recognized Kurosaki Ichigo wiping a food on her cheeks.

"What? you're thinking that I'm gonna kiss you?" The orange haired student blankly looked at her.

"What are you doing?"

Ichigo threw her a playful smirk. "Evidence."

"For what?" She asked lamely.

"That you eat like a goddamn pig." Ichigo clarified, showing her the tissue that he used to wipe the food on her cheeks.

"I don't eat like a pig!"

"Are you sure?" He mischievously teased, mocking her by swinging the dirty tissue.

"I SAID I DON—"

"Yeah, yeah come'on hurry up!" Ichigo spoke, putting the money on the table and idly walking out of the café.

--------

It was nearly nightfall as both of them leisurely strolled within the busy streets of the theme park. Shimmering lanterns and flashy lights along the path had already shown its grace and were guiding every bystander thru the dimness of the surroundings.

The eccentric 'couples' are now strolling around the crowded entertainment district of the amusement park where various game booths and fanfares are being held.

And Rukia, being a 'naïve girl' that she is, couldn't help but gawk in amusement at every stall that they've passed by.

"Look Ichigo, a gold fish!"

"Wow a chick (the one that became fried chicken), isn't it cute Ichigo?"

"Ichigo what's this?"

"Ichigo look!"

"Ichigo come over here!"

"Ichigo hurry up!"

"Oi Ichigo—"

That's only some of the countless commentaries that the cerulean-eyed beauty hollered to him, and Ichigo being a quick-tempered person that he is snapped at her.

"QUIT BLABBERING DUMBASS!!"

Said by a person that seems to have menstrual problems everyday. Rukia's eye twitched as she approach the area where Ichigo was standing. "What's wrong with you!" She grumbled with irritation that steadily increased with each word. Hands clenching into fist at her sides, she began to stomp over the ignorant orange head with a 'you're-goddamn-annoying' glare that was pasted in his face. "Can't you see I'm tryi'n to concentrate here!"

"What're you doing anyway?" Mumbled by Ichigo, crossing his arms tightly.

"Can't you see?" Told by Rukia, showing a vintage rifle that is in her hands. "I'm playing a game at that booth, so don't bother me bastard!"

"Fine!" retorted by Ichigo at full throttle.

"Good!" angrily grunted by Rukia in reply.

"Hmph." Both of them mumbled then averted their looks away from the other.

The sapphire-eyed beauty carry on playing the 'shoot the goddamn bunny' while Ichigo wandered his look that comes in particular.

5 minute has passed…

_What is that girl doing anyway…_Ichigo jadedly thought, he look a sideway glance at the booth where his 'lovable roommate' was playing. She seems really determined but undeniably unskilled at such game. It was her ninth time to start over the game and the shrewd owner with a weird goatee is simply enjoying the 'quick cash' he was earning. _Five more minutes…_

10 minutes have passed…

_WHAT!? She's still playing the game! _Ichigo astonishingly (and somewhat annoyed) thought to himself. Rukia looked like a gambler that hasn't won anything since she started, of course there was the occasional slip shots but if you're asking for a bull's-eye—

She got none…

And the worst thing is,

It's her 18th time to repeat the game.

And she's extremely pissed.

_Argh, things I do for this girl!_ Ichigo irritably thought. The orange head oni violently stomped over towards her as several passerbies ran for their lives in fear of his scowl that can make Satan himself tremble in fright and pee on his pants.

Though I don't know if Satan wears pants, well anyway…

He halted beside the fuming girl, grabbed the gun on her hands and coolly said without looking at the girl, "Rukia, let me try…"

The raven haired girl seems to be reluctant at first (Rukia guessed that it's his way of showing off) but in the end, she handed the gun in defeat.

"Now you'll see my skill at this game!" Boasted by 'Pinocchio' his nose ridiculously increased animatedly. "Back in high school, I was called 'Ichigo the shell bullet' coz of my precise aiming ability!"

He inhaled to prepare his mind in total concentration. _Concentrate…_Ichigo acutely thought to himself as he starts to aim for the…

_Toy bunny._

Ichigo sweat dropped and narrowed his eyes at the sight of different stuffed bunnies in front of him. _Figures, no wonder she was so concentrated…_

Ichigo lifted the gun as he aimed for his target, a peculiar looking…bunny that Rukia wanted so much.

_Okay, just aim straight ahead…_He pulled the lever of the gun but to no avail, no bullet was released.

"What the—" Ichigo lamely blinked, checking the gun if it's in right condition.

"I really didn't imagine you would be this 'stupid' Ichigo!" She stated between jovial clangors of loud giggles. "You must first loose the gunlock in order for it to fire idiot."

"I-I knew that bitch!" The embarrassed orange head hastily defended. "I just forgot it, that's all." He once again aimed for the target and now putting an emphasis on unlocking the lock so he will not be in the same awkward situation earlier ago.

Okay concentrate…concentrate… think of nothing else but the targ— 

"Do you best 'honey' " Rukia sarcastically hollered with the usual high-pitched and all so lovable tone voice that makes him fall on the ground, anime style!

"GODDAMMIT! WILL YOU FREAKI'N STOP CALLING ME THAT!!"

"Okay 'honey' "

"QUIT IT!!"

"Ehem, well if you two lovebirds aren't playing then, will you give back my gun?" Said by the owner of the booth, finally fed up with the constant arguing of the two.

"Get it in one shot……'darling' " Teased by the guru of psychological warfare, Kuchiki Rukia.

"Bitch..."

Ichigo inhaled a good amount of air to calm his mind off the idiotic things around him. He skillfully fired at the toy but pathetically missed the target.

"Nice aiming, 'Ichigo the shell bullet' you certainly have skills…" Rukia narrowed her eyes at the 'wonderful aiming' of the guy. If she was about to rate his firing skills from 1 to 10 she'll rate it at as a big fat ZERO or better yet negative one on a Richter scale.

"One more try!"

And it missed again…

"One more try!"

And yet missed again, Rukia tirely yawned just by looking at him.

This routine continued for about fifteen minutes. However, it was soon ended when the owner simply gave a medium sized bunny plushie to him out of pity.

---------

"I tell you, that booth is ripped! That good for nothing cheater probably put some weights on the toys so that it doesn't fall easily when you hit it!" Angrily reasoned by Ichigo. They were now walking away from the entertainment district and were on their way to the exit of the park.

"Here," Delicately throwing the plushie to her as they walk together.

"Thanks…" silently muttered by Rukia, grabbing the toy softly. The cerulean-eyed girlhalted in mid-stride and it was only after a couple of steps that Ichigo realized she was not with him. "Hey don't get me wrong!" He looked back. "I find it no use so I just give it to you, it'll be such a waste if I just throw it away."

As they walked towards the theme park, Rukia remembered one particular thing that she wanted to do ever since she was a child, but sadly never gotten have a chance to do it. However, an idea creeps into her mind.

"Oi Ichigo, you said that we would tour the world right?" The sapphire-eyed girl started, putting her hands on her back.

"Yeah, so what about it?"

"Well, there's one place that I want to completely see…" Excitedly informed by Rukia while gazing at the stars that shimmers in the dark sky with the round bright moon.

"Is that so, where?" Ichigo inquired, putting his hands on his pockets.

"Karakura City."

_You've got to be kidding me._ He stopped his pace, uncertain if his hearing senses are working properly, "K-Karakura City!? Are you insane? It's impossible, look at the time!"

"I knew that bastard!" retorted by Rukia. She transferred her gaze towards a huge round object that seemed to reach the clouds if you look thru it from afar. "We will take that ride to see the whole city!" She cheerfully pointed the colorful Ferris wheel.

"No way…" he worryingly said with a pale expression.

---------

She sat impatiently at one of the carts along the Ferris wheel together with his somewhat— nervous companion. Due to the lateness of the hour, only few homoside peoples have chosen to ride the wheel so the 'romantic' pair didn't have to wait that long to enter the attraction.

However, since every cart of the Ferris wheel are needed to be filled in order for it to start, it has became an unwritten rule that every passengers that have ridden first must wait for the others to fill the empty slots…

Bummer isn't it?

As they gradually soar pace by pace into the sky, Rukia became even more agitated as the mind-numbing 'waiting-for-the-worthless-others' continues and the unusual quietness of her companion cannot help much to the situation that they was in right now.

In fact, it even fired up the blazing irritation of the raven-haired as she looked at the timid guy on the opposite side of the cart. A loud 'pain-in the-ass' would be much preferable to her rather than a bizarre silent goddamn person that was sitting across the cart.

Hell, she even wondered if it was the real Ichigo sitting, but he was still wearing those almost permanent scowls that only the real thing could do so it was undeniably the genuine one.

_Dammit, how long will they let me wait! _She angrily thought as she frantically tapped her shoes. _I bet those fucking bastards are doing this on purpose!. _The fuming runaway girl made an effort to glare towards the officials that are managing the ride beneath them. She heard movement behind her, turned around, and noticed Ichigo stretch his arm.

"Loosen up will'ya?" He said nonchalantly.

"Hmph! who gives you the right to order, O trembling Ichigo?" Rukia commented, eyeing the quivering legs of the guy. A mocking smirk was stretched along the girls face with her arms bind altogether.

"I DON"T TREMBLE DUMBASS!" He shouted, making an emphasis to stand up. "S-See? if I T-Tremble, how can I s-stand like t-this?"

But, due to the unlucky stars that decide his goddamn fate, the ride has finally started.

And the most obvious thing that occurs in every sappy melodramas that has a Ferris wheel setup has happened to them.

He tripped towards the girl and their face almost inches away from each other.

Very predictable I might add…

And as predictable as it could be they both blush and kissed each other passionately……NOT! Though the author of this idiotic story thought about that, but the couple isn't the type that goes gaga over each other and does those things so freely…

Hell, they're even denser than led to figure out their own feelings much less do sappy romantic things, but they will get there eventually…

So in a meanwhile, all of you can dream for now.

Well anyway back to the story, Ichigo tripped towards the surprised raven-haired beauty with only inches away from each faces and since the author can't write sappy moments perfectly, he might as well do it— twisted author style!

"So Ichigo, you finally gotten the courage to took the initiative to do the first move eh?" Rukia mischievously teased to hide the embarrassment that was written all over her face. Her voice tuned up so high and sugary. "We Cant. Do. 'That.' Here!"

"What're you talki'n about Dumbass?" He blinked and asked bewilderedly as he stand up and return to sit on his side of the cart.

"Oh you know, stuffs just like on a magazine that I've read recently."

"What!?" He blurted out.

"It is written there that men like to do those things on secluded places." Rukia replied innocently and held a finger to her chin to think about something. "Hmm, just like on elevators, cars and restrooms…"

"What kinds of magazines are you reading anyway?" He asked, narrowing his eyes at her behavior.

"Oh look, were almost at the top Ichigo!" Rukia stated, looking thru the crystal clear windows of the cart. "From here everything looks so small!"

_He completely ignored me…_

"I always dreamed of going at the top of a Ferris wheel ever sine I was a kid." Told by a lively azure-eyed girl, her eyes widened in amusement. "You can see the whole city from here…oh look! There's the apartment Ichigo."

The auburn haired guy leans his face on his hand as he stared down the vast beauty of architectures that were shimmering along the darkness of the night beneath them. He was rode the Ferris wheel dozens of times in the past but none of those rides can be equally compared to this ride that he shared to the petite girl classmate/roommate.

"Thanks a lot Ichigo." Rukia began with no sarcastic or cynical inkling.

"For what?"

"…For this day." She replied with an peaceful tone of voice. "For the rides, toys, foods, your company, your time…for everything."

"Hmm, why're you going emotional all of a sudden?" He asked, looking at her. She stared back at him just a little longer and said,

"You're the first person to treat me like this…" She smiled, a genuine one, a smile that she rarely shows to people that she really didn't trust. "I didn't know how great it was to live until you showed me how…thanks."

He flushed and stared while Rukia was smiling at him. "Stop it you're creepi'n me out, being emotional really doesn't suit you Rukia…"

The spell was quickly broken when they heard sparks of fireworks ignite along the dim skies, it was the main attraction of the park and definitely a 'must see' so the eccentric couple stopped and watched as various flashy colored fireworks dances into the rhythm of the night.

Ichigo felt stirrings in his stomach, a sensation that he relatively felt in his entire life and at a sudden spurt of the moment he remembered,

"I forgot…" He alertly muttered. "…I am afraid of heights."

BLEECHE!

"K-Kimochi warui…" He kneeled down as he rubbed his stomach and put a hand to his mouth to prevent vomiting but to no avail throw up on the spot.

"Ewww, Ichigo that is sick!" She commented in disgust.

---------

"What happened to you?" Urahara asked when they've returned with an unexplainable expression written on their faces. "You smell like shit."

"Don't ask…" Rukia threatened with eyes as sinister as a Japanese Habu. "Some guy with a 'orange hair' just vomited on the Ferris wheel. Good thing that the administrator didn't bill us with the cleaning expenses or we'll hitchhike just to return home…"

"Tough luck…" Keisuke commented. "So how's your day Kuchiki-san?"

"Hmm, except for the vomiting and insults, I think it's the most perfect among perfect days in my entire life…" She said with a hint of contentment on his face.

To be continued…

A/N: Feedback on what you thought of it or any ideas would be helpful, flames aren't needed though but if you want so okay…every person has freedom of speech after all.

Next Chapter, Enter Yoruichi: the clash on the bottle of sake.


	4. Teacher teacher, are you stupid?

**Chapter 4: Teacher Teacher, are you stupid?**

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Ichigo wracked his brains, their class were assigned to study the proper procedures on baking pastries today. Each individual were obligated to bring their own culinary necessities or they'll be instantly dropped out of the course.

Weird isn't it, you want to know why?

Coz they're taking up 'FINE ARTS' for cryi'n out loud! How did confectionaries fit into the situation? And if you're planning on asking the author of this story, he'd just probably say to you, 'Because their university was located in Karakura City where all lunatics gather.'

Well, if you're thinking that's weird, wait till you read whose going to teach them how to bake, take a wild guess, he's 5ft tall, dark skin and has a weird fashion statement with an odd accent and likes to cross his arms and mumble, "Buwahaha" all the time…

Predictable, I know.

I'm pretty sure that you've all guessed it correctly, the last sentence spoiled it all isn't it? Well, you've all got it accurately; their teacher is none other than Professor Don Kaonji himself.

Hell would definitely show his apocalyptic fury on every student that he's going to be teaching this semester…

Okay enough of that, back to Ichigo's dilemma. The guy was busy examining his bag for a fabric that he needed for their next class,

A single piece of cloth called an apron.

But due to his unlucky stars (that also makes him terrible at rock-paper-scissor) he'd forgotten bring it at school. Getting irritated immediately, he'd frantically tossed each item on his bag in fear of being dropped, "Where the fucking hell is it!?" He cursed angrily, eyebrows twitched in a deadly manner.

Yeah, he probably left it at home…

However, a mischievous million-dollar grin was curled up from the lips of an enthusiastic azure-eyed girl behind him, eyes akin to a naughty kitten.

Or is it?

"Oi Ichigo, hurry up will'ya? Were gonna be late!" Rukia hollered with a hint of mischievousness in her voice. "Don't blame me if we got kicked out from the class."

The frustrated Ichigo quickly turned his bag upside down to completely empty the sack but to no avail, no apron was in sight.

"Goddammit, I'm sure I put it on my bag yesterday!"

She walked towards him asked, "What are you looking for anyway?"

Ichigo snorted. "My apron, it's gone!" He replied while picking up the pens, papers and naug—_opps, how did that get there! _that was scattered into the floor.

He was in a state of panic, the orange head Ichigo anxiously walked back and forth while sweating hysterically below his neck. _Dammit, I'm dead meat! _The orange haired guy exasperatingly thought, just the thinking of getting expelled from the university makes him shivers in fear.

However, when he was about to write his last will and testament, Rukia spoke about a preposition…

A preposition that could probably ruin his entire college life.

"I know! Why don't you use my 'extra' apron? I've brought a spare in case of emergency, good for you!" She happily replied while going back to her desk and grabbed a piece of apron that is identical to the one she's wearing at the moment, "I've also put my personalized touch into it, you should feel lucky that I will lend it to you." She added shrewdly.

Ichigo's eyes widened, unspeakable chills going up his spine. "P-Personalized touch?" _Somehow I got a bad feeling about this._ He worryingly thought.

"Yup!" She said, swinging a pink apron with the symbol of her favorite manga character 'chappy' at the center of the fabric. It also got frills and ribbons that are trimmed elegantly on its sides and strap.

"Isn't it wonderfu—"

"NO WAY! ABSOLUTELY NO WAY!" He instantly refused after seeing the girly color and the infuriating bunny logo on the cloth, he'd rather be dropped than ruin his prized 'tough guy' image at school.

"So you rather be dropped then?" She implied even more, arms clasped altogether. "All you need to do is wear this apron for just about an hour and your sorry ass would be saved from failing the class, its sooo damn easy."

"B-But—"

"Well, what would you prefer?" She all-knowingly asked, finally ready to go for the kill. "Renounce your valued reputation and pass? Or protect your 'tough guy' attitude and fail? Besides gossips mostly died after 75 days…"

Ichigo seriously thought about this, she had him in her claws and he has no escape. The only thing that could keep him from studying at this school was to wear such goddamned fabric, but nonetheless, after a couple of minutes of thinking, he finally gave up and grabbed the cloth while sighing dejectedly. _I will surely regret this…_

And the fly had entered the spiders' web.

Oh the indignity…

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

All of his classmates were eyeing him— or much rather shocked to see the almighty Kurosaki Ichigo wear such— cherry colored frilly fabric out in the public. The moment he entered the room was so surreal, everyone around thirteen mile radius (or probably more) felt Goosebumps crawling up their spines as orange and pink collide.

Every person felt that something's disturbing the balance in the world and several ominous signs have been showing up…

First, a soccer practice was stopped when all players got on their knees after they felt a bitter cold sensation emerging on their backs.

"C-Captain did you felt it?" a soccer player asked, numerous hairs on his back rose ominously.

"It's a bad omen I tell you…a bad omen…"

Second, a mirror cracked in the men's restroom for no apparent reason.

"Ahh it's Sadako! Sadako is coming!" A boy urinating screamed and ran down the hallway with his pants down.

Third, a two S-Rank Criminals standing on top of a mountain in….Konoha? Felt a weird aura in a distance.

OoOoOWARNING! INSANITY TO THE NINTH LEVEL!!OoOoO

(A/N: If you're a die hard fan of Itachi or Kisame, you may find this too OOC so you better skip this part.)

"Itachi I felt something is wrong…" Kisame informed his partner after he'd sensed an eerie presence from afar.

"Kisame, don't tell me you drink the leader's laxative again?" Itachi replied with a hint of fear on his voice. "Coz if you do, we're sure are screwed, if the boss finds out about this, he will order us to clean up the cave's toilet again and I'm not the one cleaning the urinals this time that's for sure."

Kisame blinked twice, "Wha— Oh hell no! it was an accident, I thought it was a juice, besides someone put it in the refrigerator for Pete's sake! Who's dumb enough to put a laxative on a fridge?" The shark-head akatsuki member truthfully explained, embarrassed for some reason. "Maybe it's that bastard Daidara! I still haven't paid that hundred bucks that I owe him when we go sightseeing in Sunagakure last week so he put it on the fridge as a payback, that cheeky bastard!"

A single dark brow rose gallingly, "Kisame, you go out with Daidara?" Itachi muttered unemotionally or is it jea—nah! It couldn't be.

"It's not what you think! Were doing some reconnaissance mission for the upcoming mission of capturing of the Ichibi no Shukaku and the other Jinjuukiri's (Hope I spelled it right)"

"Is that so?" The annihilator of the Uchiha-clan replied with his cold demeanor.

"It's not like were on a date or something. I mean eww! Two guys dating?" Kisame retorted, disgusted of the fact that his first date was a guy. "Itachi, I'm not that desperate!"

"Are you positive that Daidara's a guy?" The older Uchiha turned his head and faced his shark companion with a serious stare. "Have you seen his body beneath the cloak that he's wearing all the time? Well if you ask me, I don't and I think the others haven't seen as well."

Kisame's eyes widen comically, "So are you saying that—"

"Well then, have you seen him join us even once whenever we go out to an open house hot spring?" Itachi said as he furthered out his assumptions. "He always managed to have an excuse whenever leader would announce that we will go to a hot spring or other revelries that requires showing a good amount of flesh."

Silence…

"Well I'll be dammed…" Kisame gasped. "But seriously Itachi. I feel something's wrong in here! As if were on the wrong place at the wrong time and at the wrong scene, just like the characters on those crossover mangas that you've been reading lately."

"Oh don't worry, we have short air-time on Naruto anyway, besides who knows, maybe Tite Kubo would scout us."

"Don't say that Itachi, we still have taping on Naruto Shippuuden eps. 228 or something this afternoon." Reminded by his shark partner. "Besides, if Masashi Kishimoto found out about this, were totally fired."

"Fine, but we must buy my favorite pochy first before going back to the studio okay?"

"Deal."

(00 A/N: Ehem, okaaay…before I write something more idiotic, let's continue with our main story shall we?)

Everyone in the room thought the same thing as if they have some kind of mental telepathy or somethi'n. Their eyeballs fight the urge to pop out of their own respective skulls,

_WHAT THE FUCK?_

Imagine a well buffed guy wearing a small pink apron with a matching comical bunny character situated at its core, not to mention it contradicted with his muscles coz of the size of the cloth. It was like saying the phenom, Undertaker has a thing for the cross-dresser Vito in WWE.

"What're you looking at bastards!" Ichigo threatened, gathering the last ounce of dignity within him, he walked straightforwardly head up high while he passed each crowd with undistinguishable expressions written on their faces. Whenever he heard someone giggle or laugh, he instantly send them 'you-wanna-die' glares that can even make the winter turn into summer. He located himself on the farthest table on the back where his other lunatic peers were gathered.

"What happened to you Ichigo?" Tatsuki asked, laughing hysterically in front of him. "You finally cracked up and joined the Chappy geek squad?"

"Har di har har!" Ichigo replied, it was no use intimidating her, she knew him since kindergarten and was immune to his threats after all. "Really funny."

"W-Well ummm, I think it's not that bad…" Inoue interjected. "I think it's pretty cute!"

"Ichigo! I didn't know you were so in touch with your feminine side—" Said by the obnoxious Keigo but a hand chop from orange head was instantly delivered before he finished his sentence. "I'm bleeding! I'm bleeding!"

"You know Ichigo, it a plus to the girls when you're in touch with your feminine side!" Mizuiro intervened, still goddamn innocent as ever. "Take it as an advice from my experience."

"Like you advice is gonna be useful to me, 'romeo'." The embarrassed/angry Ichigo stated, crossing his arms together.

"Ichigo you're wearing……….pink." Said by a stoic Chado. "It doesn't suit you."

"I know…" Ichigo murmured.

Ishida coughed, getting the attention of everybody, "Well, only a thick headed bird brain such as yourself would forget to bring his own necessities on its required day." Ishida moves his glasses upwards, "Plus, that apron lacks some sense into it just like its owner."

"Shut up, pencil boy!" retorted by Ichigo, both fist clenched. "It was Rukia's apron dammit! I'm only borrowing it!"

However, their conversation was interrupted when their teacher finally speak up.

"Okay class let's begin I, Professor Don Kaonji would pair you all in guys in gals for our lesson this day, Buwahaha!" The teacher extraordinaire announced with an absurd accent.

"Any objections?" He solicited, creating several mumbles and chitchats from the students but none actually stand up and objects the proposition particularly in fear of failing if they react.

"Great! Now let's start announcing the groups…"

The pairing was pretty much predictable actually, since same genders can't be grouped, Orihime was paired up with Ishida, Mizuiro to a hot matured chick with a godlike cleavage, Chado to a girl with identical extensive vocabulary like his, (I wonder how would they interact) and finally scowl boy to bunny girl.

Everyone thought it was a perfect match. Since no one had enough balls to talk to the girl except Ichigo (and his posse) and since they're somewhat akin to each other, it's reasonably a natural choice.

Fight fire with fire…

And given that everyone outside Ichigo's group was intimidated even with just a simple conversation with 'Mr. & Mrs. Kurosaki', it's like hitting two birds with one stone. Moreover, they're two of a kind especially with their matching aprons.

How 'romantic'…

And perhaps you're thinking about the 'lucky' girl that has been paired up with Keigo?

Well, it's none other than the martial arts expert Tatsuki…

Talk about tough luck, It would be an understatement if you'd just say the girl only passed out after hearing the name of her partner.

Oh may God took pity on her unlucky soul and give his eternal grace upon the girl…

She'll probably need it.

"Well, that will be your permanent groupings from now on, and no further revisions would be accepted I tell you!" Don Kaonji stated. "If that's cleared then we'll start baking 'Drop in' cakes 'kay?"

'…'

Everyone was dumbfounded.

"Drop…in?" The whole class asked rhythmically.

"YEES! It my personal favorite!" He replied while crossing his arms in his chest and doing his trademark laugh. "Buwahahaha!"

"U-Ummm teacher, what's a drop in cak—" The geeky class representative asked but he was immediately halted by Kaonji.

"WHAAAT!? You haven't heard about drop in cakes?" The psycho prof exaggeratedly responded. "MY GOD! What a poor child, just what kind of education are those teachers telling the youth these days?"

"W-well umm—" the class rep uttered but was interjected instantly again, "NO WORRIES! You all fellow students would learn from Don Kaonji, teacher extraordinaire, the proper skills on culinary arts, Buwahahaha!"

Everyone (even the impenetrable Ishida) disapprovingly thought, _No way José! _

"Well, let me explain the first step on baking Drop in cake." Kaonji explicated putting a pair of white gloves and mask akin to surgical doctors operating on emergency rooms in the hospital. "First, get the flour, eggs, sugar and other essential ingredients…. AND DROP IT IN THE BOWL!"

Several, ruckus and commotions from the students was heard in an instant. However it was abruptly halted when a student finally got the courage to ask, "Ummm teacher, were supposed to mix flour and egg first befo—"

"NO NO NO, baby! You've got it all wrong!" Kaonji retorted, crying frantically while pacing his index finger. "When I say you drop everything down in the bowl, you must drop EVRYTHING INTO THE BOWL! UNDERSTAND!"

'….'

Is he for real? 

While Kaonji continues rattle on about the proper procedures (that no one followed) Ichigo took the initiative to do the first step by grabbing a box of flour and a bowl, and then he turned his gaze at the girl on his right, "Rukia, go grab the rolling pin will'ya?"

Rukia lamely blinked twice, "rolling…pin?" she repeated. "Are you sure that you really need a…pin?"

"What're blabbering about?" He retorted, irritated by her flimflams. "Quit whining and go find the goddamn rolling pin quick!"

After awhile the cerulean-eyed beauty, come back with a small 'pin' in her hands. "Here, happy now?" She extended her arms towards him to give the sharp and pointy object.

"What. Is. This?" The dumbfounded Ichigo grabbed the small piece of needle, his eyes narrowed treacherously.

"Huh, a rolling pin like you ordered. Geez! It took me awhile to convince Ishida to lend me that so you should use it well." Rukia replied with a small hint of accomplishment. "Is there something wrong?" she belatedly asked.

"So… how does this thing become a rolling pin anyway?"

She grabbed the pin in his hand and started to spin it horizontally by the use of her thumb and index finger. "This way…"

He despondently sighed, "I remember ordering you to find a 'rolling pin' NOT A GODDAMN PIN THAT IS USE FOR SEWING!! God, for the sake of all that is sane in this world, can you at least do something right even once in your freaki'n life?"

"How am I supposed to know what that!?" She retorted. "You told me to find a pin so I only did the most obvious thing that entered my mind."

_Annoying stupid bitch! _He would have retorted, if he just weren't so preoccupied in what he's doing at the moment. "Okay fine, you beat the eggs while I mix the flour got it?"

"Roger!" She happily saluted and then placed a couple of eggs (without breaking the outer shell) into the bowl, and as cliché as it may sound, Rukia grabbed a spoon and smashed the eggs wide open.

SLAT!

The sneering sound of a smashed eggs reached his ears immediately. He quickly turned his gaze behind him and see her incessantly shatters the unlucky eggs that hasn't given the privilege to live, grow and rot in a stomach of a human being, "Teme— WHAT DID YOU JUST DO!?" Ichigo yelled harshly.

One onyx brow rose as she looked at his stiffened reaction, "Huh? The exact thing you've asked me to do of course!" Kuchiki Rukia concluded with obvious satisfaction. "Beating the eggs." She added lastly while continuously smashing the (enriched with shells) raw eggs.

Ichigo dumbfoundedly smacked his forehead, staring at the 'naïve' girl who's smashing the poor innocent eggs into bits.

_I should've known…_ He thought disconsolately. "Rukia, you haven't baked—no, scratch that, you haven't even cook in your entire lifetime do you?" Ichigo concluded dryly, glancing absurdly down at the bowl filled with mixed egg shells and yolk.

She gave an abrupt inclination of her dark head. "Yeah, how'd you know?"

The orange haired student frowned at her disclosure, up until now he'd never thought a person with a common sense as 'big' as a grain of rice exist, if not— probably smaller…

"Well, its because— YOU DON'T MIX THE SHELL WHEN YOU'RE COOKING IDIOT, THAT'S BASIC KNOWLEDGE!!" He drawled insultingly.

Rukia drew in a sharp breath. She really has no idea what she had done to alienate this man—_probably noting_, she reasoned. The man seemed to have natural antagonism for Christ sake!

"How am I supposed to know that?" She retorted and shrugged her narrow shoulders ruefully. "You only ordered me to beat the eggs."

"I clearly remember ordering you to beat the eggs not to SLAUGHTER IT!! Geez! Talk about deficient common sense, I would prefer a blind worm as a partner!"

"Like I want to be paired up with a guy that seems to have far more worse menstrual cycle than an average female!"

"Argh, enough!" He concluded, grinding his teeth. "I'll beat the eggs while you open the goddamn stove so that we can finally melt the chocolates chips. Surely even an idiotic nut-case like yourself can do such easy—"

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM!!!

Speak to soon…

"Task…" He muttered dryly before turning back again to see sparks and smoke float thru the air. "Lemme guess, you twisted the stove's outlet to maximum…" he added all-knowingly.

"I just thought that if I turned it to maximum, the chocolate would melt faster…"

Ichigo scratched the back of his head, he didn't know if his sanity can take all if this mental bashing any longer. In conclusion, HE created a straight line in the floor that divides their area by the use of a chalk. "This is the impenetrable wall of Jericho, try to pass my side and you're dead."

"But—"

"NO BUTS!" Ichigo hastily dismissed. "We won't finish in time if I allow you to chip in while I'm cooking!"

"Stingy strawberry!"

"Hah! At least this 'strawberry' knows how to cook." He prompted shrewdly. "And by the way, stop calling me strawberry, it's annoying!" He added belatedly.

"Hmph!"

The orange-haired Ichigo found himself smiling as he thought of his sudden victory over the girl. There are only few times that he actually won an argument over the girl especially when the stipulation on deciding the victor is a rock-paper-scissor game (in which he literally suck). He dropped the butter, graham, cream cheese, the melted chocolate and other ingredients on the pan just like what their eccentric teacher told them. He vaguely turned his gaze on the other side where his raven haired partner was standing with teary eyes that sparkle in spite of the dim lights of the room. _The puppy eyes routine huh…_He shook his head, dazedly._ I won't fall for that one. _His grin widened.

However, despite of his constant efforts to remind himself not to look at the girl, He couldn't help but to checked upon the (pretending to be) lamenting girl every minute, their gaze interlocked a couple of times.

Ichigo sighed ruefully while striding towards the girl after he erased the line on the floor.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"Rukia, that's too much icing!" He corrected her. Since the only tasks that is left to do is decorating the cake, Ichigo allowed her to participate by ornamenting the crust, although he's supervising her every action completely so that she won't be able to create another goddamn ruckus.

"There! Good enough for you Mr. perfect?" She bit out angrily.

"I suppose that will do…" He nodded frowningly. "Still, do you have to draw your crappy bunnies on the cake?" He added while pointing at the flamboyant scribbles on the cake.

"What's wrong with my designs?" She defended lightly. "It makes it more lively isn't it? Besides, you said that I-can-do-what-ever-I-want!." She added while patting an icing to his nose.

"Hey— quit it or I'll have to respond in drastic measures." Ichigo retorted after he rubbed off the sticky icing on the tip his nose. But nevertheless, she ignored his warning and squirted an icing on his face.

"You've said that I can do whatever I want!" She reasoned in a sugary singsong tone of voice

"Now you've really done it!" Ichigo contemptuously threatened, eyes flaring brightly whilst grabbing a plate full icing, ready to throw it at her any second. "Prepare to be trashed Dumbass!"

He tossed it hastily at her with 'killing intent' but due to Rukia's sharp reflexes, she'd evaded it with flying colors. "Hah! Three years too early to challenge me to a dodge game bastard! There's no way a person like you could ever hi—"

SLAT!

"What are you blabbering about again bitch?" Ichigo said with a mocking grin formed in his mouth. He had hit her face pointblank after all and it's only natural to feel proud of it.

_Oh this is war, all right, and its time to pull out the big guns!_ Dark brows narrowed fumingly over ocean blue eyes. "ICHIGO YOU IDIOT, YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO GO THAT FAR!"

"You forced me to, though I st—" A dish full of icing coming from the girl abruptly cut him off. "YOU COULD'VE WAITED TILL I'M FINISHED TALKING BITCH!"

"Hah! You snooze, you loose!"

They started to throw icing on each other which led to a chain reaction in which the class started a food fight. However, their 'bonding' moment was abruptly cut off by their cooking professor, Don kaonji. As fun as it may seems, he still have to stopped them one way or another, coz if he doesn't, his monthly paycheck will be in danger due to salary deduction.

"Ehem, it's a nice way to waste a good food isn't it? Kurosaki-dono, Kuchiki-san?" Kaonji seriously interjected. "Dean's Office, and make it quick."

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"My my, if it isn't Mr. and Mrs. Kurosaki once again." The blond haired Matsumoto sarcastically muttered, taking a sip of her sake on the dean's desk. "What did the both of you do this time?" She added with a grin. Though by just looking at their faces, anyone would know immediately what they have done.

"I'M NOT HIS/HER WIFE/HUSBAND!!" Ichigo and Rukia corrected Matsumoto's former statement in chorus which makes her grin grew wider. They've turned their gaze to both sides, staring at each others enticing azure and ginger orbs. A pale blush emerged from their upper cheeks.

"What are you looking at?" The 'lovebirds' concurrently asked once more as if they have metal telepathy of some sort.

"Stop copying me!" They muttered in tandem yet again, Matsumoto's giggles quickly grew into hilarious laughter's after they've turned on their heads and crossed their arms in perfect synchronization.

"Haha— You know….I could introduce the both of you to an owner of a slapstick bar Hahaha, near the school if you like," She informed them while wiping the tears of joy in her eyes. "Your comedic tandem is a killer!"

"Pass…" They both agreed at the same time.

"Well if that's the case then, back to our problem earlier, you both know the rules, D—"

"Detention isn't it?" Rukia finished her statement.

Matsumoto coughed, "Okay then, the two of you would spend t—"

"Three hours, we know…" Ichigo concluded hastily. "We've been to detention almost three times this week already and probably stole the records of most attendance ever since this school was created, Hell, we've practically spent more hours in detention rather than our normal classes for Pete's sake!"

Matsumoto shrugged. "Okay then, you knew what to do, off you go, and by the way give my regards on the guard, Ganjuu okay?"

"Sure thing." He replied while pacing backwards thru the door.

"Oh, one more thing," She said belatedly. "Clean up your faces first please? Icing can be sticky when you leave it on an open air."

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

The food fight that they've started attracted millions of ants and planned to do a hostile takeover that leads to a catastrophic chain of events in which the principal of the school issued a Deafcon 1 and dismissed the classes early so that the 'bug busters' can prepare for the upcoming swarm of hungry ants.

"Great, definitely what I need…a sticky hair." Ichigo sarcastically muttered. They are walking side by side with each other talking about the events that occurred to them earlier.

"Look on the positive side Ichigo, you won't need anymore Hair gel if your hair is sticky enough isn't it?" Rukia joked in between her giggles.

They are in close proximity to Urahara's apartment when the raven haired student suddenly froze after she caught a glimpse of a familiar redheaded figure standing along a corner with a sickening smirk pasted on his face. She instantly ordered Ichigo to go ahead making a lie that she has some items that she forgot to buy at the groceries. He followed her instantly muttering something like 'senile dwarf' on his way home.

After he's completely out of sight, Rukia slowly walked towards the guy and ominously asked, "What are you doing here?"

The redheaded fellow gave a snort in reply, "That's pretty rude to say to a person whom you haven't seen for awhile, Kuchiki Rukia."

"Who sent you here…Renji?"

The crimson haired guy eyed her seriously, not feeling the need for familiarities, he went straight to the point,

"Your Big brother is pissed."

To be continued…

A/N: Another chapter done, I've tried to ask every person that I know that is fluent English to help me in this story but sadly…I got none so sorry for any mistakes that you'll find.

Also, it would be a great help if someone out there is willing to help me beta this story…I really need one.

This chapter was supposed to be chapter five but my laptop got bashed so I have to redo everything -sob- anyway, if you got any suggestions or comments just put it on the review.


	5. Just a simple game of truth or beer

**Can't live without your scowl **

**Chapter 5: Just a simple game of Truth or Beer.**

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Rukia immediately recognized the voice as she walked towards the source of her uneasiness. "What are you doing here?" she asked ominously.

Striding gradually towards the petite girl, the guy with a red hair snorted. "That's pretty rude to say to a person who you haven't seen for awhile, Kuchiki Rukia."

Her eyes irked dangerously. "Who sent you here…Renji?"

She suspected that guy came here to bring her back or abduct her and order a very high ransom fee to her Nii-sama or maybe stole all of her manga collection and action figures of her dear favorite manga character, Chappy (Rukia gasped in total shock at the idea) okay, maybe that's out of the question, but she still haven't dropped that possibility in case that his real motive.

Who knows? Maybe the guy has some cravings for soft and cuddly bunnies…

Or maybe not,

However, her assumptions were all mistaken when he'd just send her a warning about her brother.

"Your big brother is pissed." Informed by a very serious Abarai Renji. "The investors in your Brother's Corporation is starting to pull out their stocks and also, the gross profit on the stock market are starting to fall due to your disappearance."

"It isn't my problem now, I'm sure Nii-sama would find a way to salvage our company."

"I wouldn't say that," The crimson haired guy replied. "The leaders of the syndicate decided to lower the position of your brother until you, Kuchiki Rukia would return to the group."

"Hmph, like I would get myself caught up with any of the half-assed bodyguards of the syndicate."

Renji despondently sighed, "I'll warn you they're coming, the elite force, be ready."

Her eyes widened bemusedly. "W-What did you say?"

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Ichigo felt he had a knack of taking a bath.

Because of the untimely commotion earlier at school, he felt very sticky and muggy. Well, who could blame him? If you walk approximately three kilometers having few icing on your skin, rode a very crowded train (that smells like shit) then walk again for several miles under the sun, you'll feel the same right?

Unless you have some huge problem on your epidermis or just playi'n numb that is…

Either way, a nice soothing bath is the perfect thing to do after a long hard (and sticky) day of studying at the school isn't it? Well, it's the same for our orange haired character so he strip off every clothes that he'd wear, grabbed a neatly folded towel to cover his 'willies' and headed straight towards the only bathroom of the apartment.

Heck, he even sang the, "Hi, Ho, Hi, Ho, I'm goin' to clean my crotch…" song that has the same tune of the song that the seven li'l bastards had sung in the animated film Snow white along the way to the bath.

He stopped in front of the bathroom door and was about to open it, however, an unknown force deep inside him had told him to ditch it and endure the night being sticky as a friggin' bloodsucking leech.

But that idea isn't much appealing as it sound so the guy just send the feeling aside and slide the opaque door quietly.

_Strange, nothing wrong here, why did I felt Goosebumps anyway… _Ichigo confusingly thought as he scanned the area for any unsettling presence. Finding the room safe, he placed the towel into the rack and slides the textile that segregated the tub when…

Meow! Oh dear sweet body…

There was a naked body of a tanned skinned female sleeping drunk at the tub. It was apparent that the woman is drinking while bathing due to the stacks of beer scattered at the floor. Hell, it's even stinkin up the air in the room so it's really a wonder how Ichigo wouldn't notice it.

"G-GYYAAAAAAAAAAHH!!! N-N-NAKED CHICK!!"

Ichigo winced, falling backwards on the floor pointing fingers shakily at the half asleep women, causing her to stir up.

"Huh—Hic! Where am I?" Yoruichi asked hazily in between her hiccups. She stared blankly at the guy in the floor that is suffering a small case of nosebleed. "Howdy Ero-boy…" She greeted vibrantly.

"T-Teme! W-What're you doing here, who are you!? B-but first—" Ichigo asked timidly, an extremely flushed expression was written all over his face. "CLOTHES PUT ON SOME FREAKIN' CLOTHES!"

"Huuh? Clothes?" She looked down on her body then turning back to him. "Who needs'em—Hic! Bezidess…you're nat weari'n one zo—Hic! Why zhouldd I?" She drunkly teased, however something 'below the belt' caught the lady's attention, then a mischievous grin curled up from her face. "My my, 'li'l Casanova' down there want some aczion no?" she added belatedly staring intently at Ichigo's 'willies.'

Following the gaze of the foxy chick, Ichigo immediately snapped back to reality that his butt naked and blocked his manliness by the use of his hands.

"Ahhhh, how shy! iz thiz—Hic, your firzt zime seein' a femalez—Hic, naked bodie?" The mauve haired lady purred, touching the chin of Ichigo seductively. "Having some cravingz of the flesh already?

_Dear god, please spare me from the dirtiness of this world, I'm too young to become a father…_

Meanwhile while Ichigo and his new found friend are enjoying (its more likely one sided) their 'bonding moment' in the bathroom, his entire posse together with Tatsuki and Inoue decided to have a little visit at the apartment where Ichigo has been staying for while.

Talk about perfect timing.

"Ummm, konichiwa, were classmates of Kurosaki Ichigo, is he living here?" Politely asked by a gorgeous Inoue after bowing in front of the landlord Urahara.

The pale-haired landlord invited them inside instantly, opening the main door to the apartment, "Why yes come'in come'in, so you're classmates of Kurosaki-kun huh? So how was he in school?" He greeted with a million-dollar smile curled up his face.

"Still constipated as hell." From the lively Inoue to the impenetrable Chado replied in synchronization with a blank expression written all over their faces.

Urahara knowingly chuckled, rubbing the back of his head lamely. "W-Well, that's Kurosaki-kun alright."

"So where's the idio—I mean Ichigo? Is he here?" Tatsuki bluntly asked, sitting at the comfortable sofa at the lounge. Inoue scooted in next to her, then Ishida sat beside her. Urahara stepped inside the kitchen and then back to them to put a set of tea at the table.

"Maybe he's on his room, it's in the 2nd floor two rooms to the right." He mused, pulling out a fan in his pocket.

"I'll check up on him, I wanna see Ichigo's room also! We'll surprise him" Keigo gleefully suggested.

"I'll come also! Who knows, maybe we can find his porno magazines and something more…" Mizuiro added with an inerasable smirk pasted in his face. also."

"Well it can't be helped I might as well join you…"

"So here's the plan, when we enter his room we'all gonna shout, 'This is the FBI and we have a warrant of arrest' then you Chado will grabbed his arms and say 'Freeze' understand?" Keigo schemed, a sinister grin blurted out of his face.

"We'll gonna knock him good…"

Little that they know, they're not goin' to be the one who'll do the 'surprising' this day, if you know what I mean…

So the five of them, walk up the stairs then headed straight towards the orange heads room, but before they've entered the room, they've breathe in and out to condition their minds to give Ichigo the scare of his life.

"One the count of three…one….two—"

"Eight!" Keigo happily intercepted, but he'd got several blank stares and a glare (from Ishida) from his friends.

"Dude… that's just lame." Mizuiro piteously commented his prehistoric humor. "Please don't use it again, that joke has been last used centuries ago..."

"Even Sado can do better than that right?" Ishida added, eyeing the masculine man to say a little joke.

"I like…pie." Chado said emotionlessly.

"See? Even he can make a better joke than you." Mizuiro said knowingly, holding a laughter that threatens to come out of his mouth.

"It's not a joke…" The stoic guy defended with a low voice.

"Well anyway Keigo, don't use that joke ever again okay? and watch the master of humor do his thing…" The playboy of the group boastfully said. "Okay let's do this again, one…two…THREE!"

They kicked the door forcefully and energetically gestured a pose that most cops used when they're ransacking an innocent house.

"THIS IS THE FBI AND WERE HERE TO—"

However, to their demise, no tall, constipated and handsome guy was in the room. There were only scattered clothes and a boxer in the place, they've pose there for nothing like the bozo's that had just finished injecting marijuana on their asses.

A ball of hay rolled out in front of them while a gust of air blew in the room.

"Umm, guys? I feel desecrated…" Ishida dryly stated, still gesturing a gun sign on his hands.

"Freeze…" Chado added with a low tone of voice.

Mizuiro narrowed his eyes. "Chado…you don't need to say that anymore."

"W-Well, lets go back, he's not here…" Keigo dryly suggested, putting his hands on his pocket.

"How boring…"

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"Meow!" Yoruichi purred, acting like a tigress that's on a prowl.

"S-Stay away!" Ichigo pleaded crawling backwards to the floor, fearing that he might lose his innocence at the moment.

"Make a woman out of me…" The goddess of seduction mischievously teased. "Onegai!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Ichigo screamed full throttle.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"What was that?" The glass wearing teenage suddenly asked after hearing such disturbing cries of mercy from somewhere. "Did you hear someone shouted just now?"

"Yeah, it's that way, on that room." Mizuiro replied, pointing at the bathroom on their right.

So, together with Inoue and Tatsuki, Ichigo's posse ran straight into the room where they've heard someone scream. However, upon opening the slide door to the C.R, they have seen a sight that would probably scar their innocent minds for the rest of their eccentric life.

They're just at the wrong place at the wrong time and on the wrong scene…

To make it simple, that's just isn't right. Not in their entire lifetime would they imagine a woman (a naked one) was lying on top of Ichigo.

"Ai caramba…" Chado stated disbelievingly, both eyeballs tend to pop out of their respective sockets.

"ICHIGO! H-HOW INDECENT HAVE YOU BECOME!?" Tatsuki blurted out, covering the eyesight of the innocent Inoue. "Nande? What's happening there, Tatsuki-chan?"

"Orihime, its better for you not to see such corrupted acts performed by these eroticists…" The martial arts expert reasoned. "You might get traumatized if you see this, Orihime."

"W-WHAT'RE YOU ALL DOING HERE—OH GOD! ITS ISN'T WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE, WE HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING PROMISE!" Ichigo embarrassingly defended, grabbing a towel on the rack to cover his manliness.

"WH-WH-WHAAAAAAAAT!?!?!?!? IT CAN'T BE TRUE!!" Keigo exasperatingly whimpered, crying hysterically like a mad person that he is. "So that's the reason behind you refusing all of my invitations! You're rumbling in the jungle with this babe every time you decline our gimmicks!"

"Man, shut the fuck up…"

"Masochist! Sex fiend who's addicted to corrupted lust!" Keigo shamelessly accused while running away (with slow motion effects) with tears flowing out of his eyes. "As a parting gift, I'll give my this limited edition tangerine flavored condo—"

"You can keep it for yourself!" The orange head, send out an immense sucker punch that instantly send the poor guy straight to kingdom come.

However on the far side of the room, instead of bickering about how perverted Ichigo is, Mizuiro's eyes sparkle as bright as the sun. "O' dear guru, pass on thy majestic skills on picking up women on thou amateur playboy such as myself! I'm eternally devoted at your grace master." He kneeled in front of him, eyes crying hysterically out of joy.

Behind them lies a completely unconscious onyx haired student that seems to suffer a serious sickness called nosebleed—if you still call bleeding like a raging faucet nosebleed that is…

"H-Hey guys, we got a problem, Ishida might suffer a severe case of blood loss if we don't call a doctor quick!" Keigo suggested panicky.

"Is he dead?" Mizuiro questioned, poking a short wooden stick on the poor guys cheeks.

"Probably…" Chado replied.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"Eveyone, this is Youruchi, she's a friend of mine back at college." The pale-skinned landlord introduced the person who almost got Ichigo a trauma on going into the bathroom alone. "Yoruichi, this is Ichigo and his friends."

The cat-like eyes of the girl sparkled like a 24-carat diamond "So the Ero-boy's name is strawberry eh?" Yoruichi taunted although that fruit would really comes first in your mind when you heard such name so I guess it's pretty much logical. "Pretty weird name for a guy no?"

Ichigo huffed, "BULLSHIT, I'VE EXPLAINED IT BEFORE! D'NAME'S SYMBOLIZING BEING'D FIRST NOT A FRIGGIN' FRUIT DAMMIT!!" He then switched his skeptical look on the six bozo's that are sitting comfortably at their sofa, drinkin' a goddamn tea. "But more importantly, what are you'all doin' here?"

"Have a li'l gratitude Ichigo, we decided to visit you after all." Tatsuki said after taking a sip of tea. "See? We even brought some juices and snacks to eat. Even Orihime, brought her homemade special dishes just for you to try on so be thankful!" she added with a wide grin.

_Oh God, not the dishes, anything but the dishes…_The tangerine haired guy got a horror-stricken appearance when he heard Tatsuki mentioning Inoue's delectable dishes. He remembered the last time he'd try to ate one of Inoue's special dishes called Onion salad le adieu finale' He almost got blind coz whenever he tried to open his eyes, tears instantly gushed out of his sockets uncontrollably for no apparent reason, and not only that, his breath is probably the sole reason why the population of vampires (or bounds) dropped dramatically over the past couple of years. Hell, even when though Ichigo toothbrush 18 times a day for two weeks straight, the scent of the onion on his mouth wouldn't even show any signs of disappearing. The only thing he'd done to successfully get rid of the stench is follow the mint diet that his father's dietician (that looks a hell more suspicious than Lucifer's henchmen) had suggested him to do.

"I can't wait…" Ichigo sarcastically stated.

"Whaat? You're only having juices and junk foods?" Yoruichi interjected, examining the 'childish' foods at the table. "What're you, some bunch of elementary sissies having a slumber parties?" she added with a hint of disappointment/mockery.

"What 're you talkin' about?" Ichigo retorted, who wouldn't be? If someone (who'd you just met an hour ago) suddenly called you a crank up friggin' sissy, you sure would be pissed. "Care to elaborate?"

Yoruichi huskily sighed, "How old are you'all huh? I mean come'on you're on COLLEGE for goodness sake, at least have some decency to act like one." She then stand up, eyes flaring skeptically towards the 'naïves' then afterwards walking back from the kitchen, holding a case of beer and tequila. "This is the beverage that a normal college student would drink whenever there's a party. Hell, back on my college days I usually substitute tequila for water so how about it? Are you all gutless chickens who would forever be stuck up drinkin' a children's juice?" She taunted still feelin' a little drunk.

"We can't."

"Why not," She says waving a beer to tempt the students. "Just a sip."

"We have classes tomorrow."

Yoruichi rolled her eyes. "Oh how obedient, so I guess you'all would do the every biddings of your good old' teacher and lick their asses?" she replied in mock disappointment. "How nice of you…"

Ichigo snapped, this was definitely the kick in the pants he needed. He snatched a beer and opened it forcefully. "YOU'RE ON, BUCKER UP!" he agreed defiantly, _I won't let this foxy chick ridicule me for too long, oh I'll show him what true drinking looks like!_

"But Kurosaki—" Ishida interjected, thinking rationally as always. However when his vision take contact to the fuming 'talk-more-and-you're-dead' glare of the orange head, he'd just reluctantly agreed, practically signing his death wish.

"BUT WHAT!?" Ichigo glared like a possessed wolf that hasn't eaten anything for ages.

"N-Nevermind…"

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"So let me get this straight, we have to play a silly game of truth or dare?" Tatsuki clarified, crossing her firm arms together.

"It's not just your ordinary truth or dare, we'll make a slight adjustment on the rule. In this game there are no dares', all truth, coz if I do, Ichigo jr. might accidentally come out of your wombs twelve months from now, and we wouldn't want that now would we? But I can lend you a protection if you—"

"DON'T WANT'EM!" Ichigo retorted, going red as tomato all of a sudden.

"Ohhh really? Well that's too bad, and I'm thinkin' to give you this limited edition 'Kamma sutra' manuscript as wel—"

"DEFINITELY DON'T WANT'EM!" the tanned-skinned Yoruichi just chuckled at his behavior. He is so much predictable and fun to tease, watching him go all red faced and enraged was sure entertaining. Hell, teasing the orange head is more exciting than watching reality shows in primetime.

"Well okay then, were all set! Let's play a game that I used to called Yoruichi's truth or beer!"

"Truth or…beer?"

"Yes, I'll a asked a question on whomever the bottle pointed and I'll tell you now, when I ask question, its DEFINATELY a very very personal questions, your deepest darkest secrets of all secrets will be revealed, by hook or by crook right Kisuke?" She mischievously winked at the guy.

"Y-Yoruichi, you're not planning to—" Urahara said in a worrying tone of voice. "That's overkill! Are you certain that these children's can handle 'it' ? I get traumatized just by remembering what happened five years ago when we played that game! For the love of God Yoruichi, think about it carefully."

"Quit whining! I know what I'm doing Kisuke, so sit back and watch Armageddon unfolds…" Then like a villains on your typical shows, the mauve haired 'Cruella de ville' laughed, with eyes that can make Satan thankful that he's in hell and not in the living world.

"MUWAHAHAHAHA!!, don't worry you can choose beer if you don't want to answer, but I'll warn you, I'll use my infamous personal mixture of liquor that can make a professional drunkard throw up on his first sip!" the partially drunk foxy lady muttered. They've all felt Goosebumps tingling in back of their heads. It is said that animals have an ability to sense danger so maybe that's the feeling that they've experienced just now.

Cold and Unforgiving that is…

Oh merciful father in heavens, what kind of sick demented situation have we entered into…They've all thought in tandem. 

Urahara sweat dropped, "Damn, she in the 'zone'… were all doomed." The pale-haired landlord gulped, dialing numbers in his phone unsteadily. "I'd better call an ambulance or better yet— the asylum for the hopeless." He added jokily (or is he telling the truth?).

"Okay, now its time for me to teach these youngsters's a simple lesson on maturity." She said in a sickening tone of voice. "Be prepared coz right now… the class is in session."

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"WHAAAT!? Now tat'zz juzt imposhiible! You're rippin' me off aren't ya-HIC?" Ichigo blurted out drunkenly, holding a bottle of liquor in his right hand while pointing fingers at the tanned-skinned lady using his left hand. "Are you holding some kind-HIC! of grudze againshh me!?"

Want to know why 'incredible hulk' is bickering and drunk immediately?

Its because…

The tangerine-haired guy has been spotted three times in a row already…at the start of the game! Jeez, now that is just great isn't it? No cheap panny-ass trick or any unethical schemes had been used, I'm sure of that.

To put it simply, He's luck in playing truth or beer is just the same level as he's luck in playing rock-paper-scissor. If I was asked to explain his ability to draw misfortune on a single remark, then I have the perfect word for him,

Super, his luck is just incredibly super….

It's amazing how unlucky this orange head is. Just take at look at this, He's been raised by a dysfunctional father that let him live in a dysfunctional apartment that is owned by a dysfunctional landlord in which situated him to a dysfunctional room with a dysfunctional bunny otaku as his roommate that is studying also at his dysfunctional university that is located at the most dysfunctional city where his dysfunc— (lets cut the dysfunctional thingy shall we?) childhood friends are living. But who knows maybe his ill-gotten misfortune would bring something good in the near future?

I sure hope it will….

I can think of a more dysfunctional things but that might bore you out so lets just talk about it another time and return to our original plot in which the word dysf— (hehe, old habit) aren't needed.

But wait! Even the plot of this story is dysfu— ( -slap- bad mouth!) ah, who cares…

Ahem back to our dilemma earlier, Ichigo wasn't angry coz he was chosen three times in row, hell, the guy is practically immune to it! Try playing rock-paper-scissor and only winning a handful of victories in which the loss accumulates more than the stars in the universe, who wouldn't be immune?

However, the thing that ticks off the guy was the question that the mauve-haired lady was asking him.

"What age did you loose your virginity?"

"What pose did you use on your first time?"

"Did you use protection?"

Hell, who wouldn't be pissed? That's just stepping on your privacy and spitting it at your face. Add to the fact that the sandal-hat landlord had brought a lie detector contraption whacma' call it, so he can't just lie coz the penalty for lying is eating Inoue's personally made dishes.

So knowing the orange head completely, he'd done the most obvious thing like the most reasonable person living in the world that is afraid of dying (in embarrassment or food poisoning.)

He'd choose beer three times in a row.

Bad idea…

Yoruichi wasn't lying when she'd said that it could make a pro drunker puke on his first bottle of the goddamn liquor. Hell, it could even make an Elephant dance polka using its two feet with just one sip.

"So Ichigo, how age did you loose your virginity—"

"Beer!" Ichigo took the bottle (that is bubbling suspiciously and has a skull mark written at the center of the bottle) of personalized beer that Yoruichi gave him, gulped before saying 'Kampai!' and finally took a tentative sip. The bitter taste washed over his tongue. "Hic!" he hiccupped, indicating that it's really a very strong booze.

Everyone was anxious to what reaction might the guy act in response. "Weeell, tzat ain't bad..." He stated lamely before falling unconsciously at the floor face first.

"NO WAY, ICHIGO WAS DOWN ALREADY ON ROUND ONE!?" Keigo unbelievingly shouted, shaking the guy to check if he's really unconscious.

"Wo shays tat-Hic, I'm unconshouz?" Ichigo sat up unsteadily. "Okey, whoz nexst? Teme—Hic, spin the botshle." He glared at Ishida.

So the glass wearing teenage had spun the bottle like he ordered and ironically, it landed on Ichigo again.

"WAAAT!? Me aghain, jeez are you gangin' up on mhe—hic,"

"Ichigo I've got a good one for ya, what pose did you use in your first time—" Yoruichi pried but her dismay, he'd snatched the bottle instantly before she can finished her question.

"Gimme that!" Ichigo rudely said. He muttered 'sthupid damn exhibits' while drinking a mouthful of liquor and judging by the way he drank the liquor, it seems that he's becoming numb to the taste of the alcoholic drink. "Ahhh! now sphin the bothle!"

And like I've said earlier, it pointed towards the orange head for the third time.

"WHAAAT!? Now tat'zz juzt imposhiible! You're rippin' me off aren't ya-HIC?" Ichigo blurted out drunkenly, holding a bottle of liquor in his right hand while pointing fingers at the tanned-skinned lady using his left. "Are you holding shome kind-HIC! of grudze againshh me!?"

Yoruichi rolled her eyes. "No Ichigo, you're luck just suck wait—it rhymed! Your luck suck, thats a good one no?" she then turned her gaze to the teenager that has a blank looks plastered all over that faces. "Err, movin' on, Ichigo, did you use protection on—"

"DAMMIT! Are you only interested—hic, in my shex life and notching else you masochistic exhibitionist!"

He groaned heavily, everyone could tell that he's absolutely drunk to the bones add to the fact that it's only his third bottle. Everyone look at the time, 7:30 its says, the night was still young so they presumed that they couldn't escape the insanity by a reason as simple as the lateness of time.

"Beer! Like I would anshwer ur questions dumbashh!" They heard their orange haired friend retorted, drinking for the third time in a row. They've all sighed in defeat, all that they could rely on is Ichigo ability to gain bad-luck.

Oh how low have we become… 

However on the next turn, it's Chado who was pointed by the bottle. So much for Ichigo's badluck I suppose.

"Finally, someone fresh…" Yoruihi prowled. "Okay, how long is your dic—" Bad bad mind, but who knows? maybe its dic—tionary? or dic—tation……ah who am I kiddin', for all of the innocent kids who are reading this and doesn't know the next letter, don't bother knowing, you're still too young to be corrupted. And for the grown ups, please save the future of this world, keep the minds of the youth clean.

"Beer……please." Chado stiffly replied. _  
_

So I guess, you'all are starting to feel a simple case of boredom now, coz I do so lets just summarize what happens next and skip to a good part ne? Okay, so the routine goes on, each of them have their own respective turns, but amazingly, no one answered any of Yoruichi's perverted questions that somehow always involves the + and — parts of a human anatomy, hmmm, yeah! the only part of our body that differs to our opposite gender and I'm not talkin' about the 'valleys' that Kon had been craving for if you know what I mean…

However, little that they know, its was part of the tanned-skinned woman's devious strategy. She knew that they would never answer such personal questions so it's just a diversion so that they could drink the goddamn beer that she make. _Hmmm, perfect, all in the plan…_She sinisterly whispered. Preparing to carry out the second phase of her plan.

The zone of absolute Insanity…

Oh just by hearing such name give me the chills, so before Yoruichi initiates her plan, she had a warning to all of you lovely readers that is reading this story up to this point, well Youichi-san if you may,

"Meow, It's me Yoruichi, the next part involves extreme absurd ultra mega insanity to the nth level. If your physician prohibited you to neither watch nor read any insane things, then don't read the friggin' next part, in which I highly guessed that you'd never follow. So anyway, you have been warned, if everything's cleared then, hey you—insane writer, continue the plot would you?"

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Everyone was friggin' drunk already. It was written all over their faces that they have passed the limitations of what their brain cells could handle. Their vision was wobbly, their movements over exaggerated and their laughing practically on everything that they've heard.

"Okay listen up! I say that we just ditch this silly game and just say our deepest secrets shall we?" Yoruichi ordered.

"YEAH!!" Shouted hazily by each of them raising a fist on the air, completely trapped like ants on the web of a black widow.

"Lets start with you Ichigo, what your deepest secret?" Yoruichi pried then averting her gaze to the landlord who's videotaping the whole scene.

"I LIKE SHAKESPEAREAN NOVELS!!" Ichigo revealed like it's was nothing. Hell, he look so happy shouting his inner most secrets in public— probably because of the huge dosage of alcohol.

"And you—boobies, what's your deepest secrets?"

"I LIKE—HIC, KUROSAKI-KUN!!" Inoue shouted akin to Ichigo's.

"Be careful on wat yor shayin' Inoue-shan, your dayz are—hic, over if Mrs. Kuroshaki heard tat—hic!" Keigo naughtily joked.

"And end up slipin' with the dogs! HAHAHA!!" Mizuiro finished.

"Ah shat up, Morons!" Ichigo barked punching the living shit out of those two.

"W-What?" Tatsuki said, even though she's drunk like hell, some of her brain cells that aren't shouting 'Kampai!' in her skull still managed to processed the accidental proposal of her best friend. "I t-thought you like Ishida?"

"I ALSO LIKE ISHIDA-KUN, SADO-KUN, MIZUIRO-KUN, ASANO-SAN AND YOU TATSUKI-CHAN!"

"I-Is that so…" She replied with a sign of relief.

Yoruichi coughed. "Okay, moving on… you big guy—with a shabby hairdo, what you deepest secret?"

"I DON'T LIKE…….TALKING!!"

"You don't like…talking." Said Yoruichi flatly, staring blankly at the guy. See, he hates talking, that's a new one. "Righhttt…" 

"And you martial arts expert whatchama call it, what's your deepest secret?" She continued prying in a seductive voice.

"Haaaah!? Ur talkin' to me you bimbo! You wanna piecse of me huh!? I khew your schemmes, yhou w-wont—hic, trick me on saying t-that—hic, I'm afraid if hittin' other pheople! "

Yeaahhh sure, you won't….oh wait, did Tatsuki just said that she's afraid of hitting other people? So how did she become an expert on—ah to hell with it, as long that she's drunk I suppose its okay.

"So how'bout you cassanova? Spill it out." Yoruichi practically asked the shock of her life.

"I WANNA MAKE BABIES WITH YOU!!" Mizuiro exposed his fetishes in front of the older women.

_W-What?_

Yoruichi was definitely caught off-guard as she stumbled off his seat and fell grandly into the floor. It clearly wasn't the answer she'd expected. Hell, the boy can be considered as her son, much alone be her lover, she can be sued for child abuse for having a relation ship with a guy that ages half of her age, though he's a fine lo—_Ahh, Yoruichi, don't even think about it, its ten years in penitentiary! _She reminded herself.

"ummm, You! uhhh—whatever your name is, what's your deepest secret?" She said pointing at the drunkard Keigo.

"I LIKE—"

She rudely interrupted (which makes Keigo flood the floors by his friggin' tears) "Sure sure, and alas, you nerdy glass-wearin' pencil boy, ur deepest secret?"

Everyone thought that the guy would reveal something like, "I hate you Ichigo" or "I have sick fetishes on you Inoue-san!" but the revelation that they have heard was more horrifying than the previous ones.

Hell it was more shocking than knowing Britney Spears being bald…

"I'M TAKING UP BALLET LESSON!!" Ishida shouted over the top with obvious joy of fulfillment.

Now that is just wrong, somehow the image of Ishida twirling and spinning around wearing a frilly ballet outfit was so disturbing that it practically snapped everyone back to reality and trust me on this one, the looks on their faces was just…WOW…it was so great that I couldn't explain it in words.

They seem to look like when you've been killed by your best friend, fall down into the darkest pits of hell, along with a horde of skinless psychotic poodles (with rabies) then Satan would revive you just to be killed again by your best friend using a chainsaw but this time, with your parents help.

Pure horror I tell you…pure horror…

It took them almost five minutes to reply. "Ballet…lesson—WHAT THE HELL!?" They've all retorted, fully awake from the hefty dosage of liquor.

Ishida blinked. "u-umm, I said that I'm studying ballet, i-is there—Hic, something wrong?"

Ichigo make disgusted faces. "Dude that is just sick…" he replied holding his abdomen, ready to puke anytime. "I think I'm gonna throw up…"

"Now, I'm practically disturbed…there goes my beauty sleep I suppose…" Said by a very dumbfounded Mizuiro.

The strawberry haired girl then turn aside her gaze towards the standing Chado who seems to be completely unaffected in spite of the very disturbing revelation of one of their friends. "Whoa, I envy you Sado-kun, you didn't react at all. I wish I could be as calm as you." She complemented with a cheerful tone of voice.

"I-I think Chado passed out Orihime…" Tatsuki replied, inspecting the face of the muscular guy. "Though passing out while standing and eyes roll up is definitely rare case."

"Ummm guys, l-lets forget that we ever heard that shall we?" Keigo suggested, finally had thought of a good suggestion ever since he was born.

"Good idea…" They've all nodded.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"Tadai—ma?" Rukia abruptly greeted a questioning look was fixed on her eyes. "Am I in hell?"

She added lamely, asking the drunken landlord on the entrance.

"No Kuchiki-san, you're in the zone of absolute Insanity, where no secrets can stay hidden." Urahara casually replied.

"What are you talkin' about?" She raised an eyebrow.

The pale-haired businessman chuckled, "Why don't you ask the seven drunken panzee's?" he said, pointing at the bozo's dancing a German Cossack dance at the table, wearing only their boxers.

After the alarming revelation of their dear old friend Ishida, they've all started drinking again but this time, they've lost their sense of reasoning, it's a point of no return…

Ishida, Keigo, Mizuiro and Ichigo were on the table acting like a whole bunch of hopeless rock bands singing a song called, Listen to the Music. (It's an old song with a retro tune like the songs on Elvis's era. If you don't know it, there's one on youtube. For maximum performance of this scene I hope you know the music coz it's a killer!)

Ichigo's moving his hands like what Elvis used to do when he's performing on stage. "Heeey D.J givve—hic, us a beat, 1! 2! 3!"

Keigo grabbed the friggin' broom that is lying at the corner and holds it like a guitar.

"Ahem!" Ichigo started, holding a remote that is acting like a microphone and began to sing. "Oh, listen to the muzic, how it mhakes ya feel good, if you feel like shinging, Siing!"

'Hohohooo!' (Inoue and Tatsuki acted as the 2nd voice)

"Ishida, Your turn!" He stated tossing the remote to the drunken glass-wearin' teenage.

"Oh listen to the mushic, get the feeelin' reeal good, come'on lhet your voices riing!" He sang with a hazy yet so timid voice. "Chado the—hic, chorus!"

"Tra la la la la, Tra la la la la, laa, la laaaa…" The stiffened guy repeated the chorus three times with a VERY tenor tone of voice. "Mizuiro…"

"Oh, lishten to the muzic, mhake you soooo happie, if ya feel like danching, Dance!"

From this point on, everyone got on their feet and dances in their preferable way. Ichigo rhythmically bopped both his hands, Ishida doing 'the robot' dance, Chado flaps his arms like chicken while doing a moonwalk and Keigo and Mizuiro are dancing—something, whatever it's called.

Luckily, the girls have some dignity within them so they've just move their hips as they joined the insanity.

'Hohohooo' The girl's chimed with a pitched voice.

"Oh, if ya really dig it, come'on, make it snappy, shake it up and take off your pantz!"

"Tra la la la la, Tra la la la la, laa, la laaaa…" Chado chorused unemotionally.

"On listen to the muxic, how it mhakes ya feel good, when ya feel it, oh ghive me zign!"

'Hohohooo' The two girls echoed with hands clasped and mouth as round as a fuckin' ball.

"I'll sing and dhance along, to get the feeelin' real good, and you'all be fuckin' finne!"

"All together now!" Ichigo ordered, oblivious to the newest spectator looking at him with eyes saying, 'Is. He. For. Real!?"

"Tra la la la la, la la la la la, la la la la, Traaa la la la la la la, la la la laaaaa!" Everyone including Yoruichi chimed with Ichigo as they sang like there's no tomorrow with bottles of beer in their hands.

The landlord of the apartment stared in awe at the animosity that his friend created. "And Yoruichi said I'm a party animal…"

Rukia narrowed her eyes, "Shoot me now, Hell is much more decent place than being here…"

He chuckled. "Oh, don't say that Kuchiki-san, at least they're happy…" Urahara replied with an amused look written all over his face.

"More like they've crack up and finally loose it…" The raven haired teenage commented then looking intently at the women clinging seductively at the orange head, Her eyes narrowed deadly and her fist clutched tightly as if she's going to kill someone. "By the way, who's that 'hussy' that's clinging in Ichigo's arms as if he's gonna fly away if she let him go?" she asked—or rather demanded with a small hint of venom that raised its intensity when she muttered the word 'hussy.'

"She's an old friend of mine, you jealous coz she got your boyfriend?" He chuckled.

"W-Wha? M-me, jealous of that unattractive bimbo? Are you kiddin' me? There's no way I'll fall for that bastard womanizer! I'd rather date a frog." She defended, crossing her arms together and twisting her body to the opposite way, she'd stole one last glance that girl who's leaning at the shoulders of the orange head tightly. "Yeah, I'm completely…unaffected"

After awhile, all of the drunken teenagers started to fall into the ground due to over exhaustion. Yoruichi stated her goodbyes saying that she still have work the next day to Kisuke and somehow confused why the raven-haired girl was glaring daggers on her even though it's their first time meeting.

"Looks like they've finally reached their limitations, could you please bring your boyfriend back at his room while I send these children's back at their respective houses." He nicely asked.

Rukia's irritated demeanor suddenly shifted to a fuming attitude. "He's not my boyfriend! And I'm not his guardian either so why should I?" She retorted. "Besides, why don't you ask that 'hussy' whose clinging on him like a parasite earlier?" She snorted.

"Oh, don't be like that Kuchiki-san, the poor guy is gonna be sick if he slept in the floor wearing only his boxer."

"Don't worry about that womanizer, He could sleep there, suffer in a severe case of hypothermia and die miserably! Let's see if I care?"

"Are you still jealous about Yoruichi clinging into your boyfriend?"

"ME!? Jealous? Urahara-san, Is this a face of a jealous person?" She makes a happy face that is completely forged. Hell, even a blind person would know that she's Jea— (Rukia glares deadly on the author) right, moving on, she's not…jealous my dear readers, 'Definitely.'

"And for the last time, he's not my boyfriend!" she added defensively.

"Riiiightt, and eagles is a type of squid…" Urahara joked sarcastically. "Just look at the poor guy, he's been shivering to death, can you handle seeing him in this state? Just send him in his room, that's all I ask you to do, pleeease?" He pleaded, clasping his hands in a praying gesture.

Rukia gritted her teeth. "Argh, fine! But don't blame me if he got killed along the process."

"Good enough for me…" He replied. "By the way Kuchiki-san, judging by the lateness of your arrival, you've met your dear old friend right?"

Her eyes suddenly widened. "How'd you know?"

"Just a lucky guess…" He started to tap the shoulders of the drunken sleep teenager's. "So, what did he say?"

"He said that a festival is about to begin…a bloody one." She said in an ominous tone of voice.

Urahara then heavily sighed. "So what are you gonna do now?"

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"Huuuh? I-Is that you—hic, Rukia?" Ichigo hazily asked. He was sleeping soundly at the floor when the cerulean-eyed girl abruptly awoken him from his slumber and grabbed his arms and placed it over her shoulders. "W-What took you so—hic, long I've mizzed yhou, you khnow…"

That definitely caught her off guard. "W-What are you saying?" Rukia averted her face with a pale blush emerging on her cheeks. Their faces were only mere inches away from each other.

"I SAIID, I'VE MISZED YOU—Hic, idiot!" He grinned from ear to ear. "Where—hic, dhid you go anywhays?"

"None of your business…" She replied bluntly.

His eyebrows twitched. "W-Wat are you're—hic, problem? And herre I am, being nise to you—hic, ungratefhul brat!" He retorted as they've climbed the staircases. "Are you having your period?"

A vein pop out of her head, Ichigo's face then turned horrific as he fell down into the stairs.

BAM!

"Ungrateful? Who's the one who's climbing the stairs with the help of an 'ungrateful brat' huh?" She stated, looking down to him from the 2nd floor. "And it's not my period!"

"Geez—hic, you d-don't have to rezult to violence, I'm sowwie—hic, fair enouugh?"

She smirked, still irritated. "Say another stupid thing and you'll end up in a casket understand?"

He nodded in understanding, grabbing the hand of the girl. The couple started to stride up the stairs

But this time, quieter than usual. They are walking at the corridors of the second floor neither stirring up any conversation.

"Hey Rukia, are you still angrie at—hic, me?" He started before opening the door to his room.

"Isn't it obvious?" She replied dropping him off to his bed.

"I'm shorry—hic, reallie."

"J-Just forget about it okay?" She started to leave, however, a firm hand grabbing her arm suddenly stopped her from leaving. "What is it now?" she asked annoyingly.

"…Don't leave me Rukia." He said truthfully. "Promishe—hic, me…"

The cerulean-eyed beauty sighed. "I can't sleep here Ichigo, you know that." She pulled her arms off his grip but to no avail, it didn't even budge. "Ichigo, let go of me, now!" Rukia forcefully heaved his grip that caused them both to fell into the floor.

"Only if you—hic, promished me that you'll never—hic, leave me…" He replied, laying on top of her with pleading eyes like a lost puppy that would probably loss its sparkle if she refused him.

"I don't wanna bhe alone, I think—hic, I might've fallen for y…"

"Ichigo…" Rukia silently whispered, she adverted her face away from him due to the sudden mounting flushed expression on her face. "I-I promised that I wouldn't leave you alone, now could you please get off of me?" She then turned to the guy on top of her but to her dismay, the orange head was already sleeping soundly, drooling like a St. Bernard dog.

Rukia blinked. "Arrrgh! Unbelievable!" The raven-haired beauty muttered under her breath, uncertain if she was going to be angry or amused. She tried to push him off but to no avail, the guy was heavier than a corpulent sumo wrestler. "What is this guy made of? Metal?"

In spite of her monstrous strength, she can't even move nor budge the guy off her. "Geez, now I'm stuck with you for the night, happy now?" She sneered at their position. If their landlord would seen them like this, she was certain that he'll give them that mind-numbing speech about 'bids and bees' that he always said to his subordinates.

"Rukiiaaa…that tickles…" He muttered happily while sleeping. '_Hell, were inseparable even in his dream? Having sick fetishes about me I suppose…'_ She amusingly thought, finally beginning to settle down._ 'Thinking about, this is the first time I've seen his drooling face up close and—wait, drooling!?' _ She promptly turned her gaze to check if her assumption was correct.

"Great, now I would be drenched with his saliva first thing in the morning…can life get any worse?"

Apparently it did…

Ichigo started to embrace her like a pillow on his bed. "Why do I even bother asking…" She replied resisting the urge to strangle him in his sleep but somehow, her fuming demeanor suddenly vanished when she noticed how peaceful he was on his sleep, her tantrums disappeared immediately. "Great… just great, you make me sleep with you in your room, suffocate me with your stinky breath, drenched my dress with your filthy drool and finally choke the living hell out of me, I've been worse but you owe me big time for this Ichigo…"

The orange haired teenage groaned, a goofy grin was plastered on his goddamn face.

She chuckled, closing her dreary eyes, a genuine smile slowly formed from her lips.

"Goodnight, sleepy head…"

To be Continued…

A/N: Thanks for all of those who reviewed so far…Wow, that's definitely the longest chapter I've been written ever! Also, I've suffer a lot of mood swing just by writing this chapter, and finally, someone willing to beta this story! crazymaneesh, you're a real life saver, Domo arigatou!

If you have suggestions, idea's or inspirational comments just write'em on the review.

Flames aren't needed though but if ya really want then go, I'll just ignore it anyway besides, its still a review so thanks anyway.


	6. A little tour around Karakura City

Chapter 6: A little tour around Karakura City.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Two odd looking individuals walked down out of the plane, one was a scary guy that had a spiky hair with bells attached at its every point while the other was a pink haired girl that is sittings along the broad shoulders of the tall guy. She had a seemingly innocent look akin to angels living in the heavens while the other seems like a demon that came out of hell.

"Man, what a booring ride that was!" Cursed by the taller guy.

"But Kenchan, they have some yummy sweets!" Yachiru cheerfully replied.

"Hah! Some sweet that was, it was sugar free, bullshit!" Kempachi retorted, grabbing their baggage while stepping out of the airport. "And that flight attendant is eyeing me as if I'm a crazy highjacker! I wish killing is legal." He added as an afterthought.

"Maybe she got a thing on you Kenchan!"

The darker guy snorted. "I'm not that desperate."

"Yay! Kenchan's a stud." The energetic girl said with a childish grin. "Anyway, at least we finally arrive at Kabakura City!"

"Kabakura city?" The dark-haired assassin asked with an idle tone of voice. "I thought it was called Kamakuro City?"

"Huh? I thought Hair-chan called it Kazakume City?"

Zaraki evilly smirked. "Ah to hell with that hairclip wearin' freak, as long as were in a place that start with a K that's good enough for me."

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"Aah-choo!" Byakuya sneezed in a cat-like manner, grabbing a neatly folded handkerchief from his pocket and wiped his lips elegantly.

Several stares and glares coming from the board of members were thrown at the face of the almighty Kuchiki Baykuya.

They were a hive a private meeting when he suddenly sneezed, broking the tension within the air.

"You sure are popular commander," His red-haired bodyguard commented. "Bless you."

One dark colored eyebrow rose. "Huh?" Byakuya muttered lamely.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Several hours had passed. Needles to say, any ordinary person would have grown tired of walking and just hire a cab.

But due to Zaraki's…weird look, no taxi driver even dared to stop at them. Hell some even broke their speed limits just to get away from those two. So even if their feet's were cramped and their whole body is covered with sweat and shaking due to over fatigue, they still continue walking. What else is their choice, if you're in their position what will you choose, stand under the blazing heat of the sun and practically become fried human? Or walk in the middle of nowhere and become fried human a little while later?

Okay, maybe the proposition isn't that much appealing, but at least they get a chance to tour the place…

"Ken-chan…I'm hungry." Nagged by a worn out girl that is sweating hysterically. "Can we at least stop and eat? My stomach is growling…"

"Argh! Fine, we'll go to that burger stand and eat something, good enough for you?" He replied dryly, walking slowly towards a fast-food restaurant.

At the moment, the owner heard the doorbell chime and saw a two 'hoodlums' walk in. A single idea instantly crept into his mind…

'_I'm screwed…_'

He was about to call the police when the taller guy muttered something in a dark voice that can even make a brightly sunny day become catastrophic or even worse.

"You, we need that, that and that and make it quick!" Zaraki ordered, pointing at a different variety of food but the owner was too scared to react that he only kneeled and muttered, "P-P-Please d-don't kill me, I'm too young to d-die, you can get anything you w-want just d-don't k-k-kill me p-please." He gutlessly pleaded kneeling in front of a bemused Zaraki Kempachi.

"Huuh? Well, okay then we'll get anything that we want…" Zaraki thoughtlessly replied, tapping his chin to think of a good meal.

"Kamikure city sure is nice!" Yachiru complemented, interrupting his train of thought. "They give free foods even on strangers and it's eat all you can buffet!"

Soon after, the duo grabbed everything that they can hold of, from the juicy tender looking crispy fried chicken down to the last smallest piece of soggy French frieze, they have snatched it all and devourer the food in a matter of minutes. Zaraki and Yachiru were about to go to the counter when they heard an earsplitting sirens and gunshots from the outside.

"Freeze! You have no where to go you hoodlums, we've got you surrounded!" Shouted by a police holding a gun, judging by the badges in his clothes it is apparent that he is the chief within the district. "Put you hand up and surrender peacefully!" he ordered with a shaken voice.

The tall scary and for some reason handsome Kempachi smirked…a very sinister one. "Well. well well, I didn't know Kazikiro city has some special entertainment for tourist" He half seriously joked, grabbing a protracted sword from his back. "I knew there's a catch when that lame-ass panzee let us eat for free…oh well, what's done is done, besides, a mass massacre is best after a good meal…" He stated, licking his mouth like a hungry wolf ready to disembowel its prey. "Masamune (referring to his sword) is hungry also so I'm gonna make it quick."

"Here we go again…" The infant in his shoulder sighed, pouting at how immature his partner was. "If hairchan or Grampa moustache somehow knows about this, we're gonna be grounded for killing again Kenchan."

Zaraki's smirked grew even more as he leaped to the throng of police at front. "Don't worry too much, I'm sure those necktie-wearin' fools won't know about this!"

"You sure love killing do you, Kenchan?" The pink haired girl dryly asked as five police were already butchered in a matter of seconds.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"Ah-choo!" Byakuya sneezed once more, getting irritated by constantly sneezing within a small amount of time.

However, it was surprising when the elder Genryuusai-sama sneezed as well. Moreover, the timing was perfectly in synch when Byakuya sneezed. "My My, we're getting famous aren't we Kuchiki-san…" Yama-jii partially laughed at his comment.

'Crazy rich bastards with low metabolism…' Renji cursed under his breath.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"Well, that's all what I need! A good genocide to properly digest what I've ate…" Said by a contented Kempachi.

In front of them was an amazing scene, quite a lot of carcass of police and law enforcers are brutally butchered along the streets. Several heads cut off from their respective bodies, dozens arms and legs sliced, hell, some bodies were even slashed neatly into the middle.

But as an old saying goes, whenever there's a smoke, fire is always nearby….

"Umm, Kenchan, what are we gonna do about that?" Yachiru naively gulped, pointing at the hoards of tanks and helicopters that are moving rapidly towards them.

The impenetrable Zaraki turned his head then smirked. "Hmmm, they've pull out the big guns eh?" He stated while gesturing a posture akin to a feudal bushido. "Well, I'm finished with the appetizer, so let's start the main dish!"

"Kenchan!! Even with our powers combine, we cannot fight that many cars and plane!" The cherry-haired girl reasoned, slamming a hand on Zaraki's left cheek. "Unless we release our Regalia."

"Quit whining, we won't know unless we—" That's all he can mutter coz a tank swiftly blasted a devastating shell towards their location. Smokes and smolders filled the area, and when the pilot of the tank was about to get out of his vehicle, a semi-invisible golden sonic wave slashed it into two causing it to explode dramatically.

"Man that was a cheap shot…" Zaraki seriously muttered, placing his long sword at his shoulder. "Now I'm pissed."

"Zaraki Kempachi, I your commanding officer hereby give you permission to draw out level one of Regalia of fire." Yachiru seriously commanded, eyes even more darkening than the taller guy. "Any problems whatsoever will be my responsibilities."

"Ready whenever you are…" He replied not bothering to look at his commanding officer.

"Okay…" Yachiru whispered as she closed her eyes and started mediate. "From the eternal bowels of the abyss, I call upon the deities of Tartarus to seek thy protection, I call upon the Prince of Pandemonium, ruler of the entity of fire, Give us power to burn and obliterate everything into oblivion!" She stated like a mantra.

When Kempachi raised his Masamune, an ominous light instantly illuminated the sword. The light was so colossal that it almost reached the skies and people around a forty mile radius abruptly stopped when they gasped at the beam of light emitted high above the firmament.

"Hehehe, It's been awhile since I did this…" Zaraki muttered as he held a burning sword that is long enough to reach the clouds. "Last time I remember, I almost sliced Mt. Fuji in two…"

"Let's just end it quickly Kenchan…"

"Hmph! You're no fun…" The spike-haired assassin said with a idle voice. He tightened his grip on the monstrous blade and began to gradually descend the sword from the sky causing jet fighters and armored helicopters to crash and burn down to the ground. When Zaraki's kick-ass sword hits ground zero, every tank, armored vehicles and police cars along the area blew up to smithereens.

BAAM!!

Chaos and destruction was everywhere as blood drenched the streets and unaided cries echoes thru the air. Mutilated bodies and scrapped metals can be seen everywhere as two eccentric individuals standing tall among the animosity and devastation.

The pink-haired infant blinked twice. "Sooo, we sure screwed up Karakupo city huh, Kenchan…" Yachiru commented while sating blankly at the desolation that they started.

"Yeah…totally."

"So, where are we going now?" She asked as they walk straight at the wiped out streets of 'Karakupo' city.

"How about we go to that island where that huge kick-ass female statue is standing?" Zaraki pointed at the place where a massive statue wearing a toga holding a torch and a book was standing tall in which symbolizes 'liberty' and independence.

"Hey Kenchan, I thought citizens of Karakuma city speak Japanese not English…"

"Who cares as long as were in Kalagara city…"

And with that, the duo started to walk straight towards the marvel with the dawning sun behind its grace while arguing about the real name of the place.

To be…Continued?

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

A/N: finally, chapter six, it's not as long and hilarious as my previous chapters but sill an update so to speak. The plot starting to move, though I promise you laughter and humor can still be ensured even at the most serious situations. For all of the people who reviewed and still reading my eccentric fiction up to this point, I thank you all for your time!

Yachiru maybe a little OOC but when you think about it, she became serious whenever it's needed like in the concluding battle between Ichigo and Zaraki when a courier suddenly arrived.

If you review who knows maybe I'll update faster, I'll check if I can stretch my schedule.


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